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Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Please Stop Skedaddling From The Concert.

Today or in the next couple days, I'm going down in the basement for the guitar. She's ready for it, I think. Violet. She's ready for the music. I have no idea what I will open with. The setlist is long. With any luck, it'll go on for years, decades. Songs will come and go. But whatever I decide to start this show with...well, that will have to remain. You can't kick off the whole thing/the lifetime of music loving with some dumb crap you don't plan on encoring with at least a few hundred times in the years to come. You don't open with shit, you open with Solid Gold. A Nugget. Something fierce and loose. Something you can tap your toe to. Or dance to if you've feel that pull. Something fun, something you can sing along to (well, once you can speak).

I've mulled it over. Hard.

And of course, the song has to be one of my own. One I wrote. Nothing else would do for my child. Hell, nothing else would really do for your child either. You should play them one of my gems but you're gonna play what you play and that's that. Me, I'm going in for one of my own self-penned sweet jams. And, I'll be honest: I'm scared. It's completely rattling. I am rattled. I haven't played the damn guitar in a year and a half, and although I don't suppose I will have forgotten how to do it, I do think there is a chance that I pop a string and it zips through the air and stings my baby's fleece cheek, thus putting her off the look/sound/sight of my instrument forever. I know. That's stupid. But, I need this to go well. Confidence is everything. If you come out of the gate swinging dragon fists, knocking shit out of the ballpark with killer tunes and killer moves, well then you're going to feel good about what you are up to. Then, you're likely gonna kick some ass, friend.

I need to kick Violet's ass with Song One. Hook her. For ever.

I wonder if I should add some of my tasty Cotton Country Mouth-harp or not? I know she'll like the sound of the harp, but maybe this first time it'll just be too overwhelming. Plus, I'd need to go out and buy one or two, plus a holder. That'd be seventy-five bucks at least right there. Jesus.

When I do put on this Show Of Shows, I'm thinking I will put her in her high chair. That way she'll be unable to crawl away and embarrass me in front of My Lord. Or my dogs. Also, up in the chair her tiny face will be right level with my guitar hole. Then she won't stand a chance, huh? She'll be possessed by sweet melody. By subtle cadence. By the voice of a jackal.

Anyways. This is me talking out loud. I'm nervous. But it'll be alright. For the first time in my life, if the crowd ain't paying attention, I can walk over and scoop her up from the crawl and start all over again.

Until she is the best crowd ever.

Reader Comments (5)

Go for it !

Go for it now before she's able to claim a shot for herself and starts messing with the strings when you're not looking. My son has no real interest in music. Which is handy because drummers are hard to come by. But my daughter loves it. I hope she learns how to play guitar when she's older, then she can maybe teach me a few new chords.

Go on, get the guitar out, do it now ....

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMurray Ramone

Punk. Rock. Radio.

Made me dig your action.

"Get outta here, Dad!"

Plus you can adlib as the situation requires. If that doesn't light your fire, I always felt Muskie Moon was a solid gold toetapper of a ditty... and she can eventually join in on the uh-huh/oh-yeah chorus.

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWife?

Did you write Baby Love? You could do the fishing reel thing as well as sirens for getting arrested. Songbirds would be another and I also think Punk Rock is a good sugguestion. She needs to learn about both the birds and the bees, as well as gene loves jezebel from her pop! The biggest question is whether or not you're going to open up the trunk of vests for the performance

September 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTom Richards

Feather Boa was the first song Nick played for Emily, on our way home from the hospital. Now, I mean you no disrespect when I say that is a little fucked. :-) Love the song, but as the very first one for my child? Eh, I was hopped up on painkillers and new-Momness, so I had no say.

But, on the bright side, she has been able to recognize your songs as well as Springsteen's since she was a tot, and at 5, begs to hear them. Who says you can't teach taste?

September 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEDW

Hey Serge, how did the Violo-gig turn out? If you haven't launched the basement tour yet, put me down in the "Songbirdz" column for the opener -- then maybe "Sooner or Later." Good luck with it either way.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTapRoom

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