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Thursday
Apr092009

I Miss You When You're In The Other Room.

It's pouring here this morning. I can hear the rain swish off the tires of the cars out on the street. In the morning, I drink my coffee with the tv sound down now. And I listen for the morning peeps. Violet will wake up maybe half the time when I am getting ready for work. When she does, there is no screaming or crying. Just short quiet peeps, like smoke alarms with dying batteries.

It sucks when there are none. When she lies there by her momma in peaceful sleep and doesn't need anything or anyone. Or me. I get eager to go in there with the stealth of a prowler and just pluck her up from the little Wal-Mart sleeper thingy she is dreaming on. But to do that would be to invite myself to crash nature's ball. Dudes like me should not be crashing nature's ball.

So, on she sleeps. I poke around some fly fishing sights on the web; look at fish porn. These gray shitty days bring on the good Blue Wing Olive hatches. I wish I could get out to the river today. Thoughts of a quiet stretch to myself, of afternoon hatches. Thoughts of the summer days to come and the big caddis flies that cause brown trout to explode from the water with reckless greed.

Awww shit who am I kidding?

Thoughts of MAKE A GODDAMN PEEP ALREADY !!! Maybe you don't need me just this sec, butterbean. But I need you. Again.

Reader Comments (5)

I've been there. You're a better man than me. I always get a little happy when I can sneak down and read the paper before my little guy wakes and starts yelling for me and then sad when he doesn't. Love my time with my guy in the mornings. I had a year at home with my little girl when she was one. It was fantastic. Enjoy

April 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfellowdad

Really glad that you are sharing this with us. I'll be checking in on you and I'll do my best to support you in whatever way I can. God bless you man.... and good luck!

April 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i love monica's blog and i am putting yours in my faves also. don't give up on your wife. a new baby does bring joy and a lot of stress at the same time.hang in there, things do get easier.

April 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Super happy you are here. I'm sooo sick of mommy blogs....(not sick of Monica's however). I'm hoping you'll post the good, bad and ugly. And also hoping there is lots of good coming your way.

April 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIrrepressible Angst

when she starts crying and won't stop bust out those baby chest waders I sent and take her fishing with you nothing like landing a14in.brownie to stop a wailling baby girl. Hang in there bro.


Donnie

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