It's like I was driving nonchalantly beneath a blue dome of sky and suddenly noticed a zipper. It'd been there all along, the zipper. I just hadn't had the presence of mind to really see it. And then one day I did. So I casually reached out and unzipped the whole fucking sky.
As the zipper teeth yawned wide I spotted the entire universe behind them. Planets, entire solar systems, asteroids, shooting stars all spilling out from behind the blue dome I've spent years looking at... but never beyond. But it was all there the whole time.
Autopilot. It's great for airplanes but when you flip it on in life it's bad news. One minute you're at attention; steering the wheel, handling the throttle like a fucking boss, all while expertly observing everything in front of you and making split second decisions - speed up, slow down, change lanes, flip the bird, courtesy wave...Other times you start awake and find your jaw on your chest and drool dribbling down your chin as you realize you've been sleeping at the wheel for hours while the plane was on autopilot. A tricky bastard, that autopilot.
I'm awake. I see the big picture. Or as much of the picture as I'm meant to see for now. It'll keep yawning wider and wider until I'm on my death bed, I guess, and only then will I truly see the 'big picture.' Then I'll reach up and unzip the universe in hopes of an even bigger view.
No, I haven't been smoking pot, you asshole. I'm seven months pregnant. I'd like a joint right about now, though. It's been years. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little weed every now and again so long as you don't also happen to be simultaneously creating life. It does the world good. All things in moderation, mis queridos amigos.
So, no pot, just thoughts. About me. Where I've been, where I am and where I'm going. And despite the universe revealing itself so sexily to me, I don't have any answers. In fact, I have more questions than I had before ever laying a hand on that beautiful zipper.