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Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Friday
May012009

My Nipples Are Too Big

"My mom says my nipples are too big."

Blank eyes. What?

"What did you say?"
"Mom thinks the nipples are too big."
He shakes his head as if someone just punched him in the nose.
"Well, she's wrong."
"You think they're okay?"
"They're FINE! Great, in fact!"
"She says Violet choked when she fed her today. And that when you hold a bottle up side down it should drip, not stream. Maybe we should look for new bottles."
"Oh. The BOTTLE nipples are too big."
"What did you think I was talking about?"