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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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My Nipples Are Too Big

"My mom says my nipples are too big."

Blank eyes. What?

"What did you say?"
"Mom thinks the nipples are too big."
He shakes his head as if someone just punched him in the nose.
"Well, she's wrong."
"You think they're okay?"
"They're FINE! Great, in fact!"
"She says Violet choked when she fed her today. And that when you hold a bottle up side down it should drip, not stream. Maybe we should look for new bottles."
"Oh. The BOTTLE nipples are too big."
"What did you think I was talking about?"