Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Wednesday
Jun182008

I Don't Want To Go Off On A Rant Or Anything But...

And then the heavens opened up and the good doctor prescribed the very sick woman Zofran. Yeah boy. Zofran is used for cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. And also women suffering 'morning' sickness. It is amazing. I can tell exactly when one is wearing off because I immediately feel like puking. I take one and breathe deeply for about a half hour and I'm good.

Today thousands of gay people stood in line to get married in California. Last month the California Supreme Court struck down the state's ban on same-sex marriage. It invalidates virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation, extending the "right to marry" to same-sex couples.

I watched footage of long lines stretching around courthouses waiting to get hitched, couples in love grinning into the camera and I am elated. And also pissed. Pissed that it's even a fucking issue. It's the one issue that makes me feel as if I live in 1960's America. The civil rights war all over again. Somebody's skin color made them inferior for decades. The person someone chooses to love has made them inferior, second-class citizens for decades. It's 2008 and thousands of douchebag Americans waste their time worrying about who someone else wants to marry. Worse yet, they do it in the name of God. Fucking hypocrites. People out protesting, shouting obscenities like 'fags burn in hell' and 'God hates homos.' 'God hates homos.' I can't count the number of things wrong with that statement.

The Mormon church is much sneakier about their homo hatred, claiming they love the person and hate the sin. Damn but they've got some top 'o' the line publicists on the payroll. Please. This is a church that's spent a majority of its existence trying to rehab The Gays and keep blacks from holding the priesthood... I wonder - when America finally gets with the program and every state (except Utah, of course) strikes down bans on gay marriage, I wonder if the Prophet will suddenly have a revelation about gays and Mormonism. You know, kind of like in '78 when the church took a lot of shit for not letting blacks hold the priesthood and them BAM, suddenly a message from God that he's changed his mind and black folks are in! God must have an excellent publicist too! And then the spin, my God, the spin. It wasn't about skin color it was about bloodline, it wasn't this but that... Brigham Young loved black people! The LDS Church will forever and always skirt issues to make them seem more credible to the public. They will twist the truth just a half-fraction in order not to raise too many eyebrows.

Anyway. Am celebrating the right of gay folks to get married and have that marriage legally recognized, at least in California. And Massachusetts and a handful of other states that acknowledge civil unions and domestic partnerships. The ball is rolling. Perhaps during Obama's administration the federal government will get off its ass and just acknowledge that it is a constitutional right already and tell the states to go fuck themselves. After all, if Pam Anderson is allowed to get married to some tatted up douchebag one more time, a gay couple that's been committed for 20 years oughtta have the same rights.

Do you really support gay and lesbian couples separated at the emergency room door? Do you really think long-term couples should be denied the right to make medical or end-of-life decisions, which married couples take for granted? Do you really think kids should be denied health coverage by one parent's health insurance because the law treats them as strangers? Do you really think it's fair for gay and lesbian people to pay the same taxes as everyone else, but to be denied the hundreds of rights, benefits and protections of marriage? If you think someone else's choice for marital partner affects your marriage you need to get over yourself. WHY DO YOU CARE? HOW DOES IT REALLY AFFECT YOUR LIFE? You have too much time on your hands. Go take your kid to the park. Take your spouse on a date. Worry about your own fucking marriage before you stick your nose in someone else's. Amen.

UPDATE: Just read this post by Xmastime and thought I'd extend his offer.

"It occurred to me: any of you hetero couples whose marriage is destroyed by the fact that gay people can officially wed, send your stories here. Seriously,I'd love to hear it. If this decision somehow renders your marriage moot, if you find the sanctity of your own wedlock destroyed because of this, write me. I will post every actual example sent in. As I stated here, before the past few weeks people against gay marriage only had haughty, generic platitudes/fear-mongering rhetoric on their side - now that it's all starting to happen, I'm offering to help you bolster your case with actual facts. Again: if you find your marriage has been destroyed by the fact that gay people may now be legally joined, let us know about it. Cause I'd love to hear it."