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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
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Friday
Mar132009

Big Ol' Meaty Thighs! Now That I Have Your Attention...

I got drunk last night for the first time since birthing Violet. It was nice, boy was it nice. No Mom, I wasn't stumbling around the house knocking Violet's head into walls. She was asleep in a swing. Godsakes. Also, Serge and I made out on the couch like a coupla horny teens for the first time since even before the birthing of Violet. That was nice too. I damn near forgot that's what married people can do. Kiss. And stuff.

Serge went fishing yesterday. The spot he fishes is quite a hike. It takes a good hour when there isn't snow. But I'll be damned if I didn't decide to strap V in the bjorn and hike through snow and mud to surprise him on the water. Very empowering. If I can hike through that I figure I can pretty much take her anywhere. I don't feel so imprisoned anymore.

Also, I took V into work to visit. I ended up staying (to the thrill of all my coworkers, I'm sure) for three hours. It was fantastic to speak with grown-ups! About stuff that isn't poop or bottles or sleep schedules! And? I bought make-up. New make-up. Granted it's grocery store make-up and no, ain't nobody looking at my mug whether made up or not. Still! Perhaps I'll paint my face up and try on my pre-pregnancy jeans. And probably cry because they don't even slide above my big ol' meaty thighs. But every time I get a little down about how completely different my body is - all I gotta do is look at the little one - would I gain 200 pounds for her? Abso-fucking-lutely.