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A Walk On The Wild Side

This video I made seven years ago when I lived in Brooklyn has more than nine million views on YouTube...But it ain't because of anything I did. It's all Lou Reed.


Where Is The Love?

I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual. I say “pretty sure” because I was raised Mormon, a religion that proclaims homosexuality is a terrible sin, so I never really experimented until my twenties. Residual guilt kept me from fully exploring that side of myself that had been so repressed all those years. Mormon hangover, I call it. So I had a few encounters with women in my twenties and then fell in love with and married my husband.

So that’s that. Except we all know that marriage doesn’t stop us from being attracted to other people, it’s part of life. I often find myself attracted to other women and not in the “girl crush” way that straight girls describe when they meet a girl they click with or admire. When I occasionally find myself attracted to a girl I experience the same feelings as when I’m attracted to a guy. I have felt this way since I started having sexual feelings. I remember wanting to kiss a friend in high school but revealing that side of myself seemed impossible.

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Chocolate Is My Favorite Color

Hank readies the yard for Halloween.

Me: What's your favorite color?

Henry: Chocolate!

Me: You mean brown?

Henry: No. I MEAN CHOCOLATE. Chocolate is my favorite color.

Me: You and half the world, kid. A solid choice.

You can also find his highness in The Huffington Post today.

Good Gourd

I don't know about you and your neck 'o' the woods, but we have been so busy gettin' our gourd on this month that we've got pumpkins coming out of our asses over here.

Pumpkin families frozen in various states of pretend play litter the kids' playroom, pumpkins scattered on our front porch perching jauntily atop bales of hay, pumpkin corpses lay around the backyard, abandoned after hardcore pumpkin play sessions. I should really learn to make some pumpkin pie because they are starting to look at me accusatorially. MURDERER! They silently scream as Henry carts another "Mommy" and "Daddy" pumpkin off to what will certainly end in torn stems and dented heads

We grew some of our own in our backyard before a mysterious white powder I now know to be fungus swept in and destroyed our humble crop. We've been on no less than three hay rides, strolled several pumpkin patches, drank gallons of hot chocolate, eaten enough home-made Amish pie to kill a horse, attended several fall festivals where Violet and Henry painted tiny pumpkins but mostly each other, and we are, as I type, preparing ourselves for a haunted Halloween train ride (costumes included!) tomorrow evening after which we will most likely come away with more pumpkins. Good gourd.

Happy fall, y'all.


Hot Mom Isn't Fat Shaming, You're Just Too Sensitive

If you aren't exhausted by Hot Mom and her abs of steel, here's my two cents. It's more like four cents but more cents are better than no cents. Or something.

And yes, in case you missed it, the sex of the newest member of our family can be found in the blog banner up there. Thank you for all the kind words both here and on Facebook. We love hearing YOUR two cents.
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