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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
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Sunday
Jul062014

4 Months

Is it terrible to say you have a best baby? I don't mean I love him any more than the other two, obviously, it's just that compared to Violet and Henry at his age this kid is a whole different breed of baby. He sleeps through the night, he rarely cries during the day, dude is as good-natured as they come. You need only look at him out of the corner of your eye and he's grinning his little ass off and, joy of all joys, he's starting to hold his own bottle which, any parent can tell you a baby learning to hold his own bottle is a very special freedom.

Four months old and it's like he was never not with us. He slipped into our family so gracefully there was hardly a hiccup involved with incorporating him into the mix.

Now, I don't want to get all soap boxy on you but, I have to say, maybe there is something to all this chilled out home birth stuff because I was induced with Violet and Henry and I had Charlie quietly, well - mostly quiet if you don't count mooing like a sick cow/yelling at Serge to rub my back STOP TOUCHING ME - in our living room. Violet and Henry both screamed and cried when they were born and Charlie started nursing within five minutes with nary a sniffle. I was also really spazzy about routines and naps and sleep schedules that were all the rage in the parenting books I read when Violet and Henry were born and with Charlie I just kind of go with the flow and he returns the favor in spades. If he wants to nap I let him nap, if he wants a bottle I give him one and he just goes along for the ride, handing out grins all along the way.

Both Serge and I refer to him as Magic Baby because his presence in our family has been magical. I keep meaning to finish his birth story before he's having children of his own, and I will. I've just been busy with this whole separating, moving, starting a full-time job, beginning a new writing column on Mom.me in addition to Babble, mom of three thing I've got going on over here. Bear with me and I'll be back to regular posting hopefully sometime in the coming week when I get a handle on all the new stuff going on.

I just wanted to share that Serge is all settled in his new place and the kids and I are all moved into our new house and we're really digging it and our new neighborhood. Here are a few shots from the past week as we get settled in the new place. I've been posting a lot more over on Instagram so come on over if you're into the whole photo thing. I'll try to keep shots of my dinner to a minimum but I can't make any promises about excessive Charlie/Henry/Violet photos.

Reader Comments (10)

Are you and serge sharing the dogs?

July 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJen

@Jen - Serge moved into a place that doesn't allow pets so I have them both.

July 6, 2014 | Registered CommenterMonicaBielanko

I'm so happy you have an easy going baby. Just to let you know, I have a similar best baby, and she came into this world with an induced, epiduraled and quiet labor (aside from me crying from my previously bottled up emotions from my first kiddo who was the furthest from easy as a result of lots o medical issues) and anyhoo, she came out in three pushes, nursed quickly as well and has been the angel baby since. So I think it's just chill kids are chill kids! Either way, it's so lucky to get to enjoy these little months old bambinos while getting full nights of sleep!! I'll take it!

July 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMeg W.

Ms. Monica, You are wise beyond your years. I read your article on Babble and I see so much goodness in your life and what you have to offer your three adorables.

There is one thing I've been wanting to ask you; it's been a little hot for me the last few days and I was wondering if you could possibly turn down the thermostat for Oregon next time you're at work. :o)

Have a happy Monday

July 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Jill

I think the fact that you are more relaxed with this baby is the reason he is so relaxed, much more than the birth.

July 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

I have a very chill mama friend who just gave birth to her fourth baby at home, and she and her husband are ragged around the edges as the baby, who seems pretty easy going, is still up every 1-2 hours to nurse at 18 months old. I think you get what you get for the most part. Temperament is temperament. That's awesome that you got a chill baby though. Ironically, it might have been harder to separate if he wasn't chill, cuz you might have needed both parents just to survive.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

I have had 3 C-sections. The first was an emergency after a horrifying birth experience. The baby, my eldest, was the best-behaved, most amenable baby ever. I mean, EVER. Of course, he was my first and so I had no idea and was tragically anxious and overwrought about everything. 2nd baby, elective, very smooth C-section, no problems... but he, though generally a happy baby later on, and a good sleeper, had terrible reflux which made those early weeks and months... challenging. Baby number 3 is truly and honestly the world's easiest baby. Elective C-section. I think he's not actually easier than his eldest brother but he's the 3rd, thus I am calmer and more confident and also very busy (as are you!) with a vast number of things competing for head-space and attention... so he fits in and goes with the flow. I would say this, rather than the circumstances of his birth would account for your littlest man's easy nature!

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline

I had my 5-month-old at home in the water. Amazing birth. She is quite a handful, though, especially compared to my older kid who was sooooo calm and easy all the time! <-- Hospital, epidural (still pretty chill, amazing birth though). I kinda think you get what you get. I also think that birth matters, though. So I dunno.

I know I'm happy for you to have this easy, happy wonderful baby!

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Very cute pics!! That Charlie, he's a doll-- and I do think the way kids are born affects their first few months, for sure.

I wanted to comment on your Babble post about how Serge is getting such praise for being such a great dad when he's taking care of the brood.... but you can only comment via FB, so I'll commet here.

The reason? It goes farther than a double standard. It's misogyny.

July 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I just found your blog and I'm in love. :) My son Harvey just turned 6 months old, and like you I birthed him at home (after a decent hospital birth with my daughter - like you said, I just didn't know any different/better). Seriously, he is the chillest kid ever, and it has been SO easy to switch to being a family of 4. My friends have horror stories about parenting 2 little ones, and so far (*KNOCKING ON ALL THE WOOD*) I haven't experienced that at all. Now that i wrote that, I hope to GOD he doesn't turn into a little shit tomorrow. :)

July 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJosey

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