I would take a photo of my eye to post it here but nobody needs to see that kind of carnage before noon. Carnage is best viewed after dinner. Everyone knows that. But if you're one of those weirdos that likes a shot of carnage before lunch you can just gander this old photo of my misbehaving eyeball and know all you need to know. Also, I' am typing this in a one-eyed fashion. Injured eye squinting closed against the harsh glare of the computer monitor. Seriously. My affliction is so great that I can't even bear to behold my beloved computer monitor. And I haven't been to the gym since the very day I wrote this post bragging about all my gym work. Serves me right.
In other, brighter (but not too bright, it'll hurt my eye!) news, we were driving home from the eye doctor last night when Serge spotted a most excellent couch and chair hunkered down on the side of the road. Hitchhiking, they seemed to be! And we were just the people to offer them a ride.
Turns out, some wily old broad beat us to the chair. A beautiful, red wingback chair (the exact replica of this near $1,000 Pottery Barn job) that would make your grandma circa 1969 blush with envy. Apparently the owners of the couch and chair were just giving them away. First come, first serve. And the old woman who beat us to the punch had already dibbed the chair and was headed back with a larger vehicle to pick it up.
But we scored the couch. I am now beholding the beauty of my new yellow couch as I type! Here! Look!
See that crocheted granny square afghan there? That's going for $245 on this Etsy page. Which is a bit steep but the average hand-made granny square afghan can be found for around $60. Got this one for $18 at the thrift shop. I actually talked the lady up in price. Which sounds weird but when I found out she was selling it to pay her heating bill I couldn't pay the measly $8 she quoted me. I told her I'd pay $20 and she came back with $18. Which, I know. Kind of a reverse negotiation but, honest to god, when she said she was using the proceeds to pay her heating bill I woulda bought the bastard for $100. Actually, now that I type this I wonder if that was her game. Maybe I'm an idiot, getting fleeced by wily old broads right and left. Anyway, $20 is still a steal!
She's a beauty, ain't she? Serge, who enjoys deer antler barometers, has yet to appreciate the glory that is the granny square afghan but he'll come around, he'll come around.
Speaking of Serge, he's right over there in his office. We're listening to a little Sinatra and typing together. Romantic in a kind of post-modern, working parents kind of way, no?
Hello baby! I'm writing about you!
He's probably surfing youporn, waiting for me to leave so he can take matters into his own hands... Naaah! He doesn't do that, NOT MY HUSBAND. Don't kid yourself, ladies. They do it. Ain't no thing. You, the one reading this right now who just shook your head and thought But not MY husband: Yes. Him too. Especially him.
Tough segue, the one from masturbation but I'll give it a try.
Big changes are coming up, I think. Personally and professionally. I feel like I'm finally settling into my life. This is right where I'm supposed to be. Six years ago we left our beloved New York City so we could become parents (raising kids in a cracker box apartment in Brooklyn didn't appeal to me and, my god, the expense!) and that happened. Five years ago I made a plan to freelance write so I didn't have to leave my kids all day and I made that happen. Then we made a plan to move to the Pennsylvania countryside because that's where we decided we wanted to raise a family and we made that happen. Now, here we are, living in our beloved "Pastor's House" in the country again, working in an office we love in the quaintest little town you ever did see. I couldn't be happier. Really. Also, AM I INSANE? The Universe is going to burn my house down again after reading this paragraph.
It's all about goals, it really is. For me, anyway. They are the choreography of life. If I don't have something to strive for, to look forward to, then I don't really know what the hell I'm doing. Can't wait to make these next few goals a reality. Hope you stick around for the ride. So what about you? What is your major goal in life right now? What are you doing to make it happen? I want to hear your goals! Even just vocalizing them or typing them helps bring them about!