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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Wednesday
Jan162013

Slippery Slope

Only very recently in life have I stopped being so intrigued by the people who populate my past. I used to think knowing how everyone once important to me turned out thus far in life was crucial. Now I just don't care. Well, that's not quite true. I care but the curiosity no longer zings around my body until I satiate it with a Facebook frenzy that always leaves me curiously dissatisfied. If an old acquaintance looks fantastic I immediately compare to my own frazzled self and feel disappointed. If they look terrible I am equally depressed at the unrelenting passage of time and the inevitable toll it takes on all of us.

Anyway, Serge and I were discussing the slippery slope of marriage and the little crimes we commit against our partners that aren't really so little. I am super duper guilty of checking out exes. Both his and mine and, in my husband's words, "It's weird and it's unhealthy."

Is it? I used to justify staying in contact with my exes but anymore I have absolutely no desire. Because he's right, of course. Especially regarding my curiosity about his exes. And I feel much improved on that score. Nothing, and I mean nothing, good (SO MUCH BAD! SO MUCH BAD!) has come of my curiosity.

On the bright side, there are a number of other tricky maneuverings involved in the joining of two hearts that I have never succumbed to. I don't check his computer nor do I check his texts. Unfortunately, I'm guilty of most of the others on the list of slippery marital maneuverings although I am very proud to say that I have never had an argument with Serge about the thing more married people fought over than ANYTHING ELSE, even money.

What about you?



(More likely to argue over who ate the last cookie than the one thing more married people fight over than anything else.)