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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Thursday
Sep272012

What Eight Years Of Marriage Looks Like

Yesterday was a really crappy morning here. For various reasons, that it wouldn't yet be prudent to detail here, we've been under a lot of pressure lately. Violet wasn't exactly having a great morning either and as a result of it all Serge and I argued.

It wasn't a particularly bad argument but it wasn't one of our smaller ones either. Argued is probably even too mild a word. We fought, voices hissing in raised whispers so the kids watching cartoons downstairs wouldn't hear, and then I left with the kids to drop Violet at pre-school and Serge went to his "office" (the garage) to write.

Later I got home and wrote a blog post here. Then I went over to our He Said/She Said column on Babble to write there because we've been neglecting it lately. I realized Serge had already written a post likely in response to our argument. The post I wrote here was also a response to our argument.

Well hell, I thought. Here we had both written about marital strife and our reflections after nearly eight years of marriage but, as usual, Serge took a more positive, thoughtful tack and I (the asshole) was negative about it all. To be fair, I wasn't negative about Serge, more introspective, I guess is the better word, about our respective childhoods and how ill-prepared we were for marriage.

I moved my post over to our Babble column because it truly is a case of He Said/She Said. I know, two Babble links in a row but I had actually written mine intending to post it here and not on Babble so check 'em out if you wanna kill ten minutes or so. Serge's especially. I can't believe he came up with some of those bullet points. It almost seems like he copied them from some funny marriage handbook or something.

Serge: Ultimate Marriage Wisdeom: A List of Bullet Points For Your Fridge

Monica: These Arms That Open Out To Grab A Hold Of Anything