And the winner is... commenter 148, Jane! Jane has already been contacted and will be receiving her Juno Lucina diamond pendant very soon. Thanks, everyone. I enjoyed reading all your comments.
COMMENTS CLOSED! THANKS FOR PLAYING, EVERYONE! WINNER ANNOUNCED MONDAY JULY 16TH.
Hey! This post is sponsored by Juno Lucina who wants to give away a really beautiful piece of jewelry to one of you. Seriously! This is totally my biggest giveaway ever so read on because even if you don't like jewelry someone you know LOVES it and you can really come away looking like a champion if you score.
I wasn't aware of a "push present" during either of my pregnancies. In case you aren't aware either a push present (or push gift) is something a father gets the mother when she gives birth to their child. You know, to mark all her hard work pushing (or getting sliced open while someone rummages around in her guts to yank out a baby) hence the name push present.
Apparently men in India and England have been gifting their baby mamas for centuries. Americans are just catching on in the last decade or so, which, isn't that just like us? Behind in everything. Unfortunately, when I became aware of push presents it was because women were suddenly demanding them as payment for nine months of horrible pregnancy and then the difficulty of labor. Not only that, but women were specifying exactly what they expected from their mate. Which item of jewelry, what vacation. Which, gross, ladies. Way to create a backlash and make what is supposed to be a sentimental something to thank mom for giving birth into materialistic madness. Get over yourself, girlfriend. And stop ruining it for us nice gals who are still hoping our dudes take the initiative and buy us a sweetly sentimental gift commemorating the births of our children without our prodding. It isn't sentimental if you beg for it, now, is it?
There has been a lot of dialogue about push gifts and childbirth etiquette over on Babble so when a company called Juno Lucina contacted me about push presents I was interested because, from what I understand, Juno Lucina is the only luxury jewelry line dedicated exclusively to push presents for new mothers. As in, the jewelry line they offer has been created specifically as a push present. I thought that was cool because it adds to the sentimentality of the gift. This isn't a generic item of jewelry, this is a specific piece designed and created to commemorate mother and child. I like the idea of that.
A little history for you that makes this line even better: Juno Lucina is actually the Roman goddess of light and childbirth. Theology states that she was invoked during childbirth for both an easy delivery and the promise of a healthy child. Each piece the company offers is a depiction of Juno Lucina cradling mother and baby. She's represented by white or yellow gold and diamonds represent mother and baby. I like stuff that is deeply rooted in tradition and history. You know, something that actually represents the process of birth and mother and child as opposed to, say, a trip to Aruba. Which, don't get me wrong, Aruba is probably nice but what does a trip there have to do with pregnancy, birth and your baby other than - if you're anything like me - a few months after childbirth you're going to feel like a beached whale while lounging on the sand because, you know, baby weight and all. Stick a harpoon in me, I'm done.
Before shaking proverbial hands with Juno Lucina I checked out all the stuff they offer and was impressed. When they told me they wanted to not only send me a push present because I'd never received one but they wanted to give away a signature piece to one of you guys I was sold. I mean, a gift for you? How can I turn that down? And come on. Did I not puke my guts out for a combined 18 months before pushing two humans from my body in a scene straight out of the Alien film franchise starring Sigourney Weaver? I did! And suddenly I really wanted whatever the hell they wanted to send me to commemorate that.
My surprise was delivered in this fancy schmancy purple box. It was so soft and pretty I didn't even want to open it I just wanted to set it on my counter and think about opening it.
I thought about opening it for a while (about five minutes) but when the kids got all hover-y and antsy about MY gift (We may have shared food and body juices and you even pooped in my uterus but BACK OFF, Grabby McGrabbersons!) I had to get the show on the road or risk tears and tantrums.
Inside the first box was another box, Russian doll style. A good thing to be sure because, YIPPY, more stuff to open! And hey you! Violet! Get yer hands off my goods! MY Preciousss, MY Preciousss. I don't care what I said about taking turns with Henry when you play with your toys, I am not sharing!
There was a lovely poem imprinted on the inside lid of the big box but I must admit, I was all hot and bothered to get to the good stuff so I got all up in that there box first and then went back to the poem later, kinda like when Grandma sends you a birthday card filled with cash you get right to counting the bills and go back later to read Grandma's special birthday message. Unless Grandma happens to be standing right there and then you have to set the cash aside like you couldn't care less how much it is and spend five minutes reading the card and acting all emotional and thankful when all you really want to do is get to counting your cash or read how many zeroes Grandma scrawled on that there check in her signature chicken scratch handwriting. Sorry Grandma, but cash is cash, yo and I'm quickly learning that diamonds might really be a girl's best friend.
Inside the little box was the good stuff. And let me be clear, I don't think I've ever been given a diamond before IN MAH LIFE, you guys. I consider myself a non-jewelry person and have actively discouraged all boyfriends and Serge from buying me trinkets. But I'm afraid I've been wrong all these years. I actually got all giggly and stupid about it, like, ooh look at the shiny stuff all for meeee!! And it's not like some fella all in love with me was gifting me either although I did rather get on like a Colorado wildfire with the founder of Juno Lucina when I talked to him on the phone. Another reason I really like Juno Lucina. They are super personable and will walk a dude through the process of purchasing something for his baby mama. They do custom stuff, the whole nine.
So, like, if you're currently knocked up you should just tell your man you read this hilarious post by this amazing girl (that's me, by the way) on the internet and send him this way. That's not really demanding a push present, is it? More like gently suggesting...
See my preciousss?
I was also thrilled because I didn't tell them anything about myself, including the fact that I'm not really into gold but prefer white gold if I do happen to wear jewelry and lo and behold they sent me white gold. I was pretty excited about the whole thing. Seriously. Ask Serge. I went all Gollum right there in the kitchen in front of our kids. ME WANTS IT. ME NEEDS IT. MUST HAVE THE PRECIOUSSS...
Come closer and see my pretty necklace. But not too close! Back off, back off! It's my preciousss. You have to leave a comment to get your own preciousss.
And may I repeat one last time, I am not a jewelry person. I don't have an engagement ring and my wedding ring was $10 from a mall kiosk. But maybe I am a jewelry person? Because does the I-Am-The-Star-Of-My-Own-Jewelry-Commerical mug on this posing fool look like the face of a non-jewelry person? Or just the kind of person who doesn't mind showing people photos of her bra peeking out of her dress? Or both?
Have I been lying to myself about my feelings for jewelry all these years? Even H-Dog is impressed with My Preciousss.
Back off kid, keep your grubby mitts off My Preciousss. Oh wait, it's supposed to commemorate me giving birth to you so, okay, you can look at it but don't touch, I don't know where your fingers have been. I know I should, but I don't which is more a testament to your stellar ability to get into and onto and under everything and touch every square inch of anything while doing so than it is a condemnation of my mothering skillz.
So yeah. I adore my trinket (it's solid but delicate and fancy and casual) and I would've loved it if my husband (the one who took all these photos but neglected to tell me my bra was the star of the show) had given it to me after I birthed two children who look exactly like him and not a bit like me. The whole presentation is really special and after reading the poem, with lines like "presented to you by a loved one for your strength throughout pregnancy...This is a time for you to feel special, to feel appreciated and to feel loved." I know I would've bawled my hormonal face off if receiving it in my third trimester or in the hospital after giving birth. It definitely would've made the stitches in my vagina (Hi Grandpa!) a whole lot more bearable.
So listen. I want you to have one too. A necklace, I mean, not an injured vagina. Did you forget what it looks like? (Again, I meant the necklace) Here, let me remind you, I think I took more photos of My Preciousss than of Violet and Henry after they were born.
If you want a preciousss too Juno Lucina wants to give away another one, just like mine, to one reader. All you've got to do is leave a comment below sharing your thoughts about push presents. For? Against? Did you get one? And hey, if you're a girl, get your guy to leave a comment too (or vice versa) which doubles your chances of winning. Oh! And hey! If you "like" their Facebook page you can get 5% off any purchase.
I'll close the post comments on Sunday night and randomly pick a number from a random number generator thingamajigger like so and the corresponding commenter is the winner. I'll announce who wins Monday morning. Don't forget to leave your email with the comment so I can contact you if you won. Ready, set, go!