Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
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Wednesday
Feb082012

He Said/She Said

The one thing in our relationship that causes the most fights between me and Serge... Can you guess?

It's not money...

It ain't sex... (although, we'll open that can of worms later.)

Parenting and everything that's involved. It's a constant competition for us. Because we both write from home our responsibilities are split pretty evenly. For the most part, I think we do a pretty good job dividing up the responsibilities in a way that gives each of us free time and keeps us from dragging one of our ridiculously dull kitchen knives up our forearms because death seems preferable to the constant chaos.

He's the morning guy - he wakes up with them and gives them breakfast. I'm the bedtime gal - I read them stories and put them to bed. Throughout the day it's kind of a chaotic tag team situation that can lead to each of us evaluating the performance of the other parent.

This is the third diaper I've changed, where the hell is that asshole?

This is the second tantrum I'm responding to while she's been in the shower for more than an hour!

As I type this I can hear Serge regulating some kind of fight that's apparently broken out in the playroom. "Henry no. No-no-no-no. VIOLET, DON'T YOU DARE!" I expect him to burst in the door here at any moment and tell me it's my turn, he's done. That kind of stuff.

While in the parenting trenches and arguing about our roles we realized that Babble.com doesn't really have a section devoted to the relationships of parents. What could be more important? If the parents don't get along the whole house is unpleasant. And it's hard! It's really hard to get along with your partner all the time. You thought sharing a bathroom with that one douchebag in college was a pain in your ass? Try raising human beings with someone!

So we pitched a project to Babble that we've tentatively titled He Said/She Said wherein we plan to candidly chronicle our parenting journey through words, photos and video. We want He Said/She Said to be an honest yet humorous look at the perils of parenting. If you guys like it enough we hope Babble eventually gives us our own column. For now, we'll be posting together regularly in Dadding. So please, come on over and watch us argue (you know you want to!) let us know how you feel about what we're talking about or just feel free to critique what we're doing so we can do it better.

Today on He Said/She Said - the helicopter dad vs. the carefree (he says careLESS) mom. Come watch us discuss our different parenting styles.

P.S. Sorry about my hair. I told you I look like Peppermint Patty. I just don't know how to do short hair.