Last photo I took of Skullface.
Haven't seen Skullface for the past two weeks, which, I'm certain he's gone to visit family for the holidays so just shut up about it, okay? He's probably living it up on a beautiful farm somewhere, eating too much, drinking too much alcohol and fighting with relatives, just like the rest of us.
On our way back from looking for Skullface for the second or third time I spotted a skinny, exhausted-looking black cat digging in somebody's trash and jokingly said "Hey, why don't you head up the street, stupid lady that lives there is already feeding three cats, I'm sure she won't mind another mouth." I was referring to myself, of course.
I'll be damned if I didn't flip on the porch light last night and see a streak of black as he bolted for the shadows. I'm not going to lie, I was slightly thrilled that he/she had heeded my words. Which only indicates a further descent into cat lady madness.
Anyway, I've been meaning to tell you as passively and non-aggressively as possible that it's been, like, nearly four months or something like that since I've eaten any meat. Because listen, I hear someone drone on and on about how they don't eat meat and I want to punch them in the mouth and then force feed them a package of bacon. It's just how I'm wired. There's only one thing worse than someone handing back the cookie you just made them because "it has dairy" and that's someone who responds to your query of whether or not they saw the latest episode of The Walking Dead with "We don't watch TV at our house."
C'mon over to my place then so I can escort your head into my TV.
So yeah. No meatsies up in here. Except seafood. Well, not even seafood in general, just shrimp. We've been eating a lot of shrimp stir fry. I haven't really missed meat either, to be honest with you. I made vegetarian chili, all kinds of vegetarian stir fries, Indian vegetable curry and a really excellent shrimp taco recipe I got from The Pioneer Woman after I googled "shrimp tacos" and her recipe was first on the list.
With the exception of chicken, I didn't really eat a whole lot of meat in the first place. When I have a jones for some chicken I buy these Boca chicken patties and I'm telling you, they're great. Tony the Tiger grrrreat! I'm not saying it would feature on the menu at 21 Club in Manhattan (although apparently it would be too good for Guy Fieri's new restaurant) I'm just saying it doesn't harken the flavor of sawdust I would expect from imitation chicken and, in fact, I probably wouldn't know it wasn't real chicken if you served it to me and didn't tell me.
Matter of fact, I like all the Boca products which include burgers and crumbles and other soy type stuffs that can satisfy your hamburger craving. Once I had a burger craving and I went to McDonalds and bought an extra large order of fries and hoovered the whole thing in 2.2. seconds and all was well. Turns out, it wasn't necessarily the burger I wanted, just the fast food grease vibe.
Surprisingly, Serge is pretty much going along with the whole thing. I think he made a chicken stir fry for himself a couple times but that's it. He's really into all these new vegetable and shrimp curries and stir fry dinners we're trying out.
Oh and guess what? I finally kicked a pretty intense, years-long Diet Coke habit. Haven't had a Diet Coke since I stopped with the meat. I'd tell you how I did it but I'll save that smug post for another day. This whole thing is probably enough for one day, right? I mean, oh my God who am I over here ranting about cats, soy products and my really fantastic vegetarian chili recipe? At least I didn't use the word lentil anywhere but still! What's happening to me?
Maybe I do need medication.
Okay, so what about you? What is your diet like as the foodiest food holiday of all holidays approaches? Are you being good? Or not so much? What is your current obsession? What's going on in your food world, I'm genuinely curious!