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Monday
Oct292012

The Ocean Is Angry

Serge is convinced the end is at hand. Which is why I'm pretty much live-facebooking his Hurricane Sandy preps. It's even better than watching reporters do the old live stand-up in the middle of a Hurricane routine. Yes reporters, we get it. You are totally almost falling over in the wind (wait, is that someone strolling behind you in t-shirt and shorts and leisurely drinking a Starbucks coffee?) but we can't even hear what you're saying above the wind all up in your microphone. If we give you a Peabody Award will you just shut up and go inside already until the Hurricane arrives and you actually have some news for us?

Walmart was out of bread, milk, water and batteries last night and still, I refused to submit to the hype and allow Serge to purchase one of those gas camping stoves. I mean, I come from the desert, man. Plus I'm in Central Pennsylvania, it's not like I'm hanging out at the Jersey shore or anything. Except don't tell Serge I said that because he would freak out. He is a big believer in jinxing stuff. In fact, we had a conversation yesterday about jinxing stuff. I had said something about how there was no way something could happen and he nearly drove off the road in alarm and then lectured me about how the thing probably would happen now because I jinxed it. I told him I didn't believe in jinxing things.

Serge: You don't believe in jinxing? WHAT?! How can you even say that? Jinxing has been waiting thousands of years for the person who doesn't believe in jinxing and now you've done it.

Me: Oh, please.

Serge: You are so screwed. Seriously! I don't even feel comfortable being in a moving vehicle with you right now.

Me. *eye roll*

So anyway, now it isn't just Serge. I've got neighbors telling me to fill my bathtub with water so I can flush the shitter when the water supply gets contaminated and then I saw Al Roker say shit is going down and, I dunno, when jolly, old Al Roker says shit is going down, well, I'm admittedly getting a little nervous.

Thank God my vibrator runs on batteries. When the power's out later I'll have something to do when Serge takes the tape measure outside for the fifth time to assess the strength of various trees in our yard and estimate where they would fall during a "high wind scenario."

Please to enjoy H-Dawg and his dog.

Reader Comments (8)

"Thank God my vibrator runs on batteries". Cannot stop laughing. Thank you :)

October 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeri

For the record I hope you are right and Serge is very VERY wrong. Stay safe and stay satisfied :p.

October 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRichelle

I live in the Caribbean where we sometime have hurricanes pass by during the summer, and a bathtub full of water can be very helpful! Hope you guys stay safe and dry. x

October 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Serge: You are so screwed. Seriously! I don't even feel comfortable being in a moving vehicle with you right now.

This made me laugh outloud! Hope you guys made it thru!

October 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLovebug

Al said shit was going down? Good thing I missed that as it would have kept me up all night. Hope you guys are dall safe and sound, hunkered down. Do you have governor over there telling the Amish people to "Get the hell under the table" (or into the root cellar) Do you guys even have one of those?

October 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergina

Al said shit was going down? Good thing I missed that as it would have kept me up all night. Hope you guys are all safe and sound, hunkered down. Do you have governor over there telling the Amish people to "Get the hell under the table" (or into the root cellar) Do you guys even have one of those?

October 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergina

LOL: "Thank God my vibrator runs on batteries."

October 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersherewin

Your posts are one big laugh!!!

October 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRania

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