Latest Podcast

Follow on Bloglovin

Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
Search The Girl Who
« Famous Last Words | Main | My Best Girl »
Thursday
May052011

Stories I've Only Told My Mom

Speaking of my daughter, Mother's Day is this Sunday. I still don't know what to get my Mom. I always have great intentions and then I just freeze up, don't know what the hell to get her and end up buying flowers. Which, I guess you can't go wrong with flowers, yeah?

I've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately. It can be the most poop-filled thankless job ever and then a moment happens. A moment like your toddler grabbing your face and smooshing her little noggin right against yours, face to face, until your eyeballs are nearly touching then says "Hi Mommies! My Mommies! Smooches Mommies?" And then you know you are so screwed. So much more screwed than when you were madly in love with that one boy that one time. You are so screwed because your heart will never belong to you ever again. Ever.

My mom and I have had our ups and downs. Man, moms know how to push that one button, you know? The button that makes you turn into the flaming asshole you were as a teenager.

It's weird, but sometimes - even now, in my mid-thirties - I find myself annoyed with my mom and acting all sullen and shit, just like I did as a teen. But since having Violet my thoughts toward my mom have changed. She got pregnant with me when she was 21 and had me when she was 22. That means that those teen years during which we never got along? They started when she was the age I am now. 34. I cannot, at my age, even fathom dealing with some snotty almost 13-year-old who thinks she's got the whole world by the tail. Thank God I waited to have children. That way I'll be in my forties and hopefully mellowing out by the time Violet rolls up her sleeves and starts to really get busy hating me.

Another shocker? My mom loves me as much as I love Violet. I - this cursing, abrasive, loudmouth - was a cute, little 2-year-old once, my mom's only girl, and she loved me so much her heart wanted to explode. I never understood until I had a daughter of my own. Because our relationship has been such a roller coaster it seems impossible to me that my mom could love me as much as I love Violet. But she does.

I was recently invited to be a part of this really kick ass group of mom bloggers for this thing called Momoir. You can be a part of it too, just click the link and check it out. The first project is an anthology of 16 original and personal essays by 16 fantastic women bloggers like MamaPundit, Her Bad Mother and Heather. It's called Stories I've Only Told My Mom. The essay I wrote is called Just Married and is the story of how I told my mom I married a dude she barely even knew, and how she reacted when I broke the news. Some of the essays are funny, some are sad, but they're all about motherhood.

Just in time for Mother's Day, you can buy Stories I've Only Told My Mom by clicking here or on the image over there to the top right of the page. It's an e-book that comes ready for all readers - kindle, nook, Sony or as a PDF, just a normal document download and a bunch more. Basically mo matter what your fancy you will be able to read it once you pay $4.99!

I hope you like it.