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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
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Before Pregnancy "Moist Panties" Won. Behold: A New Contender

A reporter, who has listened to me bitch throughout the duration of this pregnancy, didn’t even turn around from her computer while responding thusly: Please don’t say that term again. I am going to my doctor tomorrow and asking to get my tubes tied.

I laughed for ten minutes. Until a photographer came up and asked what I was laughing about and I said, "Just a gross pregnancy term."

"Mucus plug?" He immediately asked.

Obviously a father.
Moist panties. Torn vagina. Mucus Plug. Can you one-up me with a worse word combo? It's what I'm babbling about today.