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Life With The Bielankos

Even though I hold my crotch as hard as Michael Jackson back in the day, I still wet my pants from the force of the pukes. In fact, so much that I can feel waterfalls of urine streaming down my leg toward my new Uggs. Well, my new imitation Uggs. They’re the only things my fat hoofers fit into these days. Can’t urinate on my only footwear! I glance back at Serge who is jazzing it up and chattering to Violet in the back seat and then remove my Uggs.

It's what I'm babbling about today.