BAM! There it is. Eighteen weeks pregnant. A twenty-five pound weight gain in five months. I started at around 133 and am tipping the scales at nearly 160. The ubiquitous they say you're only supposed to gain around thirty pounds during the entire pregnancy. Right. I'll easily double that shit. With Violet I started at 125 and ended at 176. Fifty pounds. The difference between then and now seems to be that most of my body stayed the same size except for my stomach and my eventual size 42DD chest. This time? It ain't just the belly and the boobs.
I have completely ballooned in every area. Ankles to neck, man. Even my socks feel tight. That picture up there, not entirely accurate. Notice the hand strategically covering a very generous muffin top, the arm posed in such a manner as to avoid as much bat wing spreadage as possible. Observe how I keep the ass slicked down in dark, durable material, the double chin hidden from view.
I'm cool with it. As cool as one can really be when their thighs are suddenly rubbing each other like two amorous pigs. It's part of pregnancy, yes. But you've got to let me bitch about it a little bit because gaining five pounds a month is a difficult adjustment.
So blah blah blah, enough with that.
We find out whether we're having a boy or a girl next week. I am DYING to know. I think more so than with Violet even. Violet was the first, so it didn't really matter what we had. I don't care about the sex so much this time either, I just want to know so I can start thinking about Violet with her little brother or sister. I think that's what makes it so exciting to me. Violet already being here and imagining her with her new little buddy.
Because I already have a girl you might think I have my fingers crossed for a boy but you'd be wrong. Neither Serge or I have sisters. I've always wanted a sister. Always. To have another girl would be so special to me, to be able to give Violet a sister. Two little pals. In some ways I'm really hoping for a girl for that reason. And also to make Serge's life exceedingly miserable when they're sixteen and I'm going through menopause. Oh, the times we will have!
But I also want a little boy so that would be just as cool. I thought Violet was a boy. I really did. I was so sure of it that I created a whole little person in my mind and cried when I found out we were having a girl. Not because we were having a girl but for the loss of the little guy in my head that turned out not to exist. Crazy, maybe. So this time I haven't let myself stray in one direction or the other which may be why I'm so excited to find out.
We've been tossing names around. Each pregnancy I've had a girl name solidly fixed in my mind. I wanted to name Violet something else entirely. Okay, okay, I'll tell you the name even though I'm kind of embarrassed about it now. Bleu. Bleu Bielanko. But you tell someone the name you've repeated over and over in your head and inevitably they fuck it up. Bleu Cheese, ha ha ha. Even though I was certain that's what I'd name her all the way until about month eight, Serge brought the hammer down and then Violet soared onto the radar and we were both sold on that.
I subscribe to the theory that telling anyone your name is bad news. Don't do it. They'll just ruin it for you with their stupid reaction. They won't like it enough or they'll say something especially annoying.
She doesn't mean to but my mom excels at ruining names for me. She has to associate every name with something. She works with a lady she hates who has that name, she went to school with a girl who picked her nose who had that name. That annoying song has that name. Better just to name the kid and then tell everyone, this is the name! It's hard to give attitude when it is officially the name and they're looking at a sweet little baby.
So yeah, I have a girl name I really like that, once again, Serge isn't sold on. He's not entirely opposed, but he has a couple he likes better. I also think I've got a boy name I like that I think Serge is on board with but the thing about Serge is that he's a pain in the ass to talk names with. Here I am with pages and pages of name combinations and he couldn't care less. Toward the end he'll indulge me, get serious and we'll decide on something but I want to talk names now! And then I thought, well hell, there's a whole internet that will talk names with me until I'm
If you had a baby right now, what would you name it? Or what have you already named your children? C'mon, give it up. If you're a girl you've likely had a new Favorite Baby Name! every year of your life. I'm 99% certain I won't steal your name, unless it's one I already have in my head. Especially if you like some new-fangled name with a fancy spelling. That's not my thing. I like classic, names that I can picture on a person of any age. I also try to shy away from popular names because I always hated when there were, like, three Jennifers and two Ashleys in my school class, but I am guilty of liking a few on the popular list. Ava. Lily. One of the names Serge likes is in the top ten, I think.
One more thing! One of the boy names I like is actually a nickname for the real name. Not so much a nickname, but, okay here's an example: kind of like naming your kid Luke instead of naming him Lucas and calling him Luke. Or naming your kid Matt instead of Matthew. But I don't want to name him the real name, I like the nickname better. Serge said it might be kind of weird to do that. Is it?