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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
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Tuesday
Mar232010

Gone Fishin'

About two months ago, in the midst of moving, a literary agent from New York City contacted me about writing a memoir. A combination of these chapters and some of these and other stuff I haven't really written about.

I talked with her over the phone and she seemed really excited about the project and another idea Serge and I have been talking about for a couple years. She told me to get started on reworking my proposal and get back in touch with her as soon as it was done. Guess how much work I've done? That's right, nothing.

The proposal is written from the last go round I had with an agent. It needs to be revamped and updated but still, no matter how hard I try I cannot get motivated to do a thing. The last experience completely burned me out. And the experience before that. Basically, it's been five years of proposals and agents and submitting to publishers who don't think the book is the "right fit for us. But best of luck!"

So now I have this crippling guilt that an agent, a young fun agent who used to work for MTV, is interested in me and I've done nothing. I always promised myself I would do everything within my power to get a book published. Now I just sit here alternately hating myself for not taking advantage of the situation and not wanting to be another damn blogger who cranks out a book because their mom and English teacher always told them they're pretty good with words.

I feel even more guilty about the fact that the last newsletter I wrote for Violet was eleven months. First the move happened, then getting adjusted at Mom's and now I just keep procrastinating.

Just had to get that out there.

And this:

Fishing With Dad

Loading up our new backpack (courtesy of a reader. Thanks Julia from Austria, we LOVE it)



Uh, Mom... Do you see all the snow and mud? You sure you wanna do this?



Okay. Just a little, chocolate snack for energy, of course. Let's go!



And we're off!



Over the river...



And through the woods...



To find our papa. Look! There he is!



Look at Daddy go!



Hey there, Pop!


Girls can fish too, right?



What do you think?



This is the fishing line...



Now it's Violet's turn.





Between you and me, is there anything sexier than a good daddy?







Reader Comments (24)

That is incredibly sweet! I love the pictures, and Violet is beautiful. Don't fret over the proposal. Decide if you really want to do it first. And if you do, then go for it!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Cutest pictures I've ever seen. Good Lord, that's cute. and no, there's nothing sexier.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ

I've been working on a book. And whenever I would read a book written by a woman after she had kids I'd be super motivated and think how much work I'd get done.

Except that ever since I've had the baby I've written... maybe 5,000 words? And that was in the last week when I finally decided to get my act together. Babies and books don't mix. I am going to keep trying, but I seriously think that work plus parenting plus all the rest of the crap in life is enough already.

Do the book if you are inspired or excited about it. Otherwise there will always be time.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Agree, you'll do it when you can. Lit agents get that. When you have a contract,there's no leeway, but right now? All in good time.

Enjoy your beautiful family!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEDW

Oh, those pictures. I just love how you can tell (in all your photos) how crazy he is about that little girl.

And no: nothing sexier.

Also, I'm selfish and SO want you to write a book.

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjive turkey

There is NOTHING more sexy than a good daddy. I have major urges to jump hubby's bones when he is playing blocks, crayons, flying a kite, etc with our kiddo. He's at his best when he is being a hands on daddy. Love your pics!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMidwest-Mom

I think your book would be great, but if you're not feelin' it, don't worry! I would buy your book, little missy.

OK, Violet and Serge are just ridiculously adorable. There is nothing sexier than a pop in love with his sweet daughter. They already have such a special bond, no?

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I would read any book you wrote...I know how tired you must be though...I was fortunate to stay at home for a few years and I got less than nothing accomplished professionally and was still exhausted...somehow I think you can do this though--we would all welcome your memoir...what about an alternating chapter thing between you and Serge...it might work and push each other towards completion before the next bambino born!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercd

Geepers, that was like takin ALL of us on your fishing trip! Wow. say, Monica, you are a great photographer. What about a nice ...coffee table book. No? I tell ya, you can't fail if you just do your thing. Go with the flow and it won't FEEL like work but will be a pleasure. Maybe you should have a side business as a family photographer, like the fictional character Novalie Nation in "Where the Heart Is".

PS. my mom has been hounding me to publish my poems for a couple of years now. So one day, I was out doing laundry and I picked up a child's book the guy had lying around and it was a fiction based on a true story about about a women poet who lived in Brooklyn. An older lady named Marianne sompinorother who, by chance meeting at a zoo, encourages a young boy to write poetry. Anyway, I was so excited about finding this book, which seemed to speak to me in some way, that I asked to buy it from the owner of the laundromat. He told me that he would give it to me IF I put together a collection of my poetry for the walls of his laundromat. Ya think I've done it yet? Heck No...

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

catch anything?

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Those are the BEST pictures ever!

March 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelly

Oh my god, there is nothing sexier than a good daddy... except maybe when it's a guy who you might never have guessed would turn out that way. Nothing like a big tough guy who turns into a puddle of moosh when confronted with a precious little one.

March 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjamie

no rush and no guilt - the book will come when the time is right.

i will read it whenever you're ready to write it :)

great pics. violet delish.

March 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralex

That was beautiful! Lovely family

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTR

That was beautiful! Lovely family

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTR

oh yes, I'm with alex, no rush & no guilt, first find yourself "comfortable with words" then you will be happy and satisfy...

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterana_jo

Work on your book proposal for 10 minutes a day. That's it - 10 minutes. Set a timer. That way you won't feel guilty about not taking advantage of the opportunity, but also not be overwhelmed by the process. You can do it! You have an incredible voice. A really incredible voice. 10 MINUTES.

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Hey....that last one was REALLY GOOD! " like 2 cars passing in the day"...very clever!

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

correction: "like two cars that pass in the day" heartbreaking. it's like showing up at an airport just as the one you love has stepped onto the plane and they can't get off to hug you "later". ( i hate good-byes).

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Look, Lynn just said you have to do it. No pressure but I listen to everything Lynn says and my life is a success due to that. More later when I hear more words of wisdom from her.

March 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZS

We went to high school together (okay, don't stop reading there). I always thought you were beautiful, but never knew you very well. Anyway, funny story how I found your blog. Both my mom and dad (divorced now) are friends with your mom and she showed up as a mutual friend. Wondering if it was one of their old high school friends I looked at some pics. Long story short I found your blog, and think you are a great writer. I love your honesty. I hadn't ever commented yet, but I think Violet is one of the most unique, beautiful babies/little girls I have ever seen. And more than anything needed to say that.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHilarie

Violet is so utterly adorably gorgeous, stop it now, you're just making me abso-bloody-lutely broody! Lovely pics, and yes please write your book, sorry thats selfish of me, but I love your writing.

March 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSM

Okay seriously can't you submit those photos to some fisherman's magazine - Serge has to be on the mailing list for a few already.... to die for!

And OMG - get busy on that proposal young lady! Want me to babysit while you work on it? Lex would absolutely love kickin' it with Violet any day!

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatty

Hey maybe you should try self-publishing! I'd buy your book, and I bet a lot of your followers would too!

Anyway, good luck with it!

March 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

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