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Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
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Wednesday
Dec012010

She Said

So this pretty much makes me feel like crap. Not because he tried to make me feel like crap but because I should. It was really interesting to read his take on what happened and realize what an insensitive asshole I can be. And believe me, he was sugar coating how bitchy I was when I picked apart his list.

As one of the commenters over there on Thunder Pie said, it really captures the miscommunications of marriage. Here my guy is, trying to be helpful. The adorable fool probably spent hours carefully combing through shit on Amazon in an effort to find just the right stuff for The Boy. Then, with derisive snorts and snotty head-shaking, I carelessly pick apart the entire list in less than five minutes.

I see that today, I do. But when he presented me with the list I immediately thought, what a waste of time. I'm not planning a baby shower, who in the hell is going to buy us gifts? Do you even have baby showers for additional kids? Seems odd. Like a 40-something-year-old wealthy couple getting married for the second time and registering for wedding gifts. Am I wrong here?

Aren't showers for young couples and first-time parents who can't afford to set up a household or prepare for the arrival of a baby? Regardless, the list seemed like a waste. It also reignited a weeks old argument of whether we need two changing tables. I suppose I figured that Violet is getting big enough that she doesn't really need the changing table. Her bed or the floor does the same job. Her legs are damn near hanging over the edge of the table anyway.

I picked apart the list, he got defensive, we got into an argument and the night was ruined. With the clarity of hindsight and his superb writing, I see what idiots we both are. Me: insensitive. Him: defensive and over reactive. And then I overreact to his overreaction.

And an entire night was ruined because of it.

Sweet Jesus, marriage is a bastard.

We retreated to separate corners of the house and I cried. At one point I was so upset I aimed my crying at the door I'd slammed so he would hear the tragic nature of his pregnant wife in such emotional pain and come talk to me. He didn't. And I'll be damned if I was going in to talk to him. We went to bed mad.

*****

In other news, the lovely folks at Babble have expressed how pleased they are with your response to me over there and have expanded my writing gig to five times a week. I really cannot thank you enough for all the support and for leaving comments and all that jazz. After nearly six years of typing into the void this here writing online (for money!) dream is slowly coming together and I owe it all to you. And you and you!

That also means more Babble links over here but judging by my readership there y'all are clicking over, so again, I really appreciate the support!
I’ve been holding out on you. Not on purpose! It’s just, well, I kept meaning to tell you this great thing and one thing led to another and it’s been a month now and I haven’t told you. I just hope it’s not too late. If your pregnancy is anything like mine then it’s not.

I have a secret. I’m going to tell you my secret in a minute and you’re probably going to be all WELL DUH!
That's what I'm babbling about today.

Reader Comments (8)

I love it when you write posts like this. So many people pretend that their marriages are perfect and that they only get upset over cutsy easily resolvable issues. It's so comforting to know that someone else has a marriage where they have stupid fights.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

i always thought baby showers were a celebration of your new baby with the added bonus of gifts. maybe it's my hippie upbringing, but i think showers are more a show of support and love for the baby and fam...

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpeach

I went to buy something for you on your Amazon registry and it says that you guys have NO ITEMS on your list. That makes it hard to choose something ;-) - Katie

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkatie allison granju

"We retreated to separate corners of the house and I cried. At one point I was so upset I aimed my crying at the door I'd slammed so he would hear the tragic nature of his pregnant wife in such emotional pain and come talk to me. He didn't. And I'll be damned if I was going in to talk to him. We went to bed mad."

aw......you guys! Come awn....put the list up so people can buy you cool stuff. It's FUN. It's exciting to get stuff mailed to the house. I believe in showers for EACH kid that comes along. ABSOLUTELY. Celebrate and party and have a cake! WHY the heck not? People LOVE to buy stuff for new people!!!! They DO! PLease put your list up without regrets and throw in a pink stinking diaperine twister thing. Throw caution to the wind!

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergina

Are you guys going to fix the Amazon registry already? both of ya need to quit yer whining...i wanna buy some baby gifts bitches.
joking
kind of
but yeah, fix it.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9J9rTZJBmw

So are you gonna fix it...or is Pat Benetar gonna have to come to your house for a middle-aged reenactment of this video? Don't make me call her...

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergina

i liked the Dear Son bit. an LOL. never knew it was called a diaper champ tho. and i was a professional. "champ" sounds a bit ironic there, no?

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterXmastime

Listen, you're pregnant and you're girl, so I am automatically on your side. Still, I thought his post was way sweet in that way you do when the man in question isn't yours. I've learned recently that you can be right, or you can be happy.

Be happy.

And put up the damn list already. ;-)

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz aka EDW

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