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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
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Monday
Nov152010

Just A Big Gestating Slug

Every morning I wake up and wonder how I'll make it to the other side of the day. I know, it sounds dramatic, but the drama, it's all relative. Right now the hardest thing I can think of accomplishing is shaving my legs and tying my laces. But I get it. If a massive earthquake rocked Salt Lake City then yes, the hardest thing I could think of accomplishing might be lifting a cinderblock off my broken legs. But this here is a blog, not an editorial in your morning paper so leave me be.

Yesterday Serge, who has not gone fishing since this, raked all the leaves, bagged them, mowed the lawn one last time before snow sends it into hibernation until spring and then - AND THEN - he went shopping and made dinner. I kind of trailed around behind him, raking here and there and tossing a handful of leaves into the bin but mostly I took photos of Violet imitating her pop.





Still, I'm the tired one. I don't remember being this tired with Violet. There've been instances I've slept for ten hours and I wake up exhausted. Because really, who's sleeping? The Boy has apparently signed up for in utero karate lessons because he is living up to every, single stereotype his gender offers society.

I have no energy, no muscle. I feel like I have dead appendages attached to a giant ball of pulsating life. Not my life, the boy's. I'm just a big gestating slug who cannot imagine living this way for two and a half more months. Someone stalk me and shoot me in the ass with a tranquilizer dart, please?

And no, Serge, we cannot name our son Han Solo Bielanko.

Reader Comments (15)

She is just too cute for words.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSadie

I like Han Solo... but speaking of Han Solo, what about Harrison? A good, strong, handsome name.

I was 34 with my last pregnancy and I too was ALWAYS exhausted. It was definitely harder on my body than it was 10 years prior. I think that's why we're supposed to have babies when we're young. Too bad our mental maturity level sucks in our 20's. You think nature could get this straight - kinda like when a guy hits his sexual peak at 17, 18, and us gals hit ours at 30-40 something.... see, it's just not right.... what hot hunky (and legal!) teen boy is gonna find me sexy? Okay, sorry, got off topic.

Anyway, gorgeous baby girl you've got there. Thumbs up to Sadie's description of being too cute for words.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Jill

That is one gorgeous little helper Serge has there. Those eyes....swoon!

It's very sweet that Serge has forsaken the weekly fishing extravaganza. Hopefully he'll still get out there occasionally so as not to lose his sanity. Hopefully there's a happy medium for you both.

Hang in there and be kind to yourself, mama.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkate

I wish you felt better... and I'm totally feeling the empathy for you... but, I can't get over how CUTE little Violet is in her coat.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

What a beautiful chjld! And so serious there at work. YOU...are so funny. So tired but always funny. I I find myself cracking up out loud as I read and sometimes there is a line I want to use..."Someone stalk me and shoot me in the ass with a tranquilizer dart, please?" ... I have to borrow that one if you don't mind.

As for the baby sapping your energy, I was thinking maybe you could be low on B12? I wonder if they give that to expectant mothers. I always tell people about Coenzyme Q10, which the liver makes anyway, which is responsible for oxygen, immunity and energy metabolism. Not sure if those Prenatal Vitamins include that one. Are you getting enough fruit? Chocolate?

I love that yard. Where do you find these beautiful places for rent? Not in Jersey...right.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergina

Since your comments are off on the "pooping" post, I am going to share an anecdote here.

I have a friend who is literally the sweetest person EVER. She never speaks ill of other people, she's patient, she's kind - she's basically a saint.

She has 5 kids. When her first child was born she joined a Mom's group and heard stories about the women pooping. She was horrified.

EVERY conversation about babies, birth, hospitals she would bring up a story about a friend of hers who pooped while giving birth. My sweet angelic friend would tell this story totally revolted.

After telling this revolting story for the 1,537th time her husband finally said, "Sweetie, I think it's natural". "NO it's not, it's disgusting!'. "Well, you did it." "WHAT?!!!", as her head spun around. "Yes you did. With every birth!" She stopped telling the story!!!

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreenInOC

"And no, Serge, we cannot name our son Han Solo Bielanko."

what a bitch!!!!

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterXmastime

The weird thing is, with each passing hour, I'm becoming more and more sold on the name.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterserge

Funny thing is, I was vetoing Han Solo in favor of Xmastime Bielanko. Guess not anymore.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheGirlWho

what a well-spoken, thoughtful, respectful individual!!!!

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterXmastime

Violet is just gorgeous!!

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I like Halloween Bielanko better but that's just me.

Miss Violet is such a beauty!! I love the curls! What a cutie. And I never ever gush over people's kids.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

When I was preggers both times I thought either they were taking up tap dancing on my blogger or they were gonna play professional soccer one day.

Damn that's a cute baby.

November 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Domestic Goddess

oh my, what a beauty help her dad :) she is so sweet. Take care mama it's just left 2,5 months, right? I know it's not help much but you know, it's just 2,5 months, a big hug!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteranajo

The curls! The pretty blond curls, they kill me - just so darn cute.

My husband's sister asked their 5 year old son what their coming child should be named if it was a boy, since their 4 year old daughter had already decided she was getting a sister who would be called Emmy. Reluctantly, the nephew finally offered, "I don't know - Luke Skywalker?" And now we have a new nephew called Luke - who we affectionately refer to as 'Young Skywalker."

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeenie Beanie

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