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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Friday
Oct152010

Oops!

I posted again over at Babble. It ends with a video you may or may not have seen before. And the video may or may not contain nudity.

But it's pregnancy nudity and that's work appropriate, yeah? Maybe not. I'm not sure I think pregnancy nudity is appropriate at any time because have you seen my ass lately? Not nudity appropriate.

What happened was I made this little video to remember Violet's birth and then I posted it. On the world wide web. About a year later, I think it was on Violet's first birthday, she was safely tucked into her crib after eating more cake than is generally advisable, and I was indulging in a glass of wine. Okay fine, so I was slightly drunk. I was in just the right schmaltzy mood to reminisce, watch her birth video and have a good bawl over how much my baby had grown.

So I'm watching the video and my nose is prickling and the lump in my throat is the size of a baseball and then.

WHAT THE?

WAS THAT MY???

Yes. Yes it was.

Somehow, despite the hundred times I viewed the video while editing, I had included a shot I certainly hadn't intended. I'd even watched the video several times after posting it on the WORLD WIDE WEB and hadn't noticed.

The video has been viewed thousands of times. I sat there, paralyzed, wondering how many folks had viewed my Business with a capital B. People I work with! My mother-in-law! All having themselves a good gander.

But you know, screw it. If you can spot the shot, good for you. Or bad for you. It's post-birth vagina, which, if you've witnessed a birth, you damn well know is similar to an opening scene out of CSI. When they find the dead hooker floating in a hotel swimming pool after her pimp jacked her up bad. It's that kind of vagina.