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Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
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Thursday
Oct222009

Imagine Glenn Beck Naked...

It's been a long week. Thankfully, it's almost over. I've not been able to write about everything that's going on, which is a shame, because some of it is BLOWING MY MIND. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to write about all of it. Yes, even I know that some things are off limits.

I'm a bit of a walking zombie lately. Get home from work around ten-thirty at night, don't get to sleep until around midnight and then waking up around six. Listen y'all, do you know how hard it is to get right in bed when you get home from work? I can't do it. I've got to chill out for a bit but the longer I relax the higher the anxiety. Anxiety because the longer I relax the less sleep I know I'm going to get. If I go to sleep now I'll get five hours of sleep. If I sleep now I'll get four-and-a-half hours... Violet gets up at six regardless of what time I go to bed. So I'm trying to relax but the longer I relax the more anxiety floods my body. Relaxing while anxious. It's like being in a threeway with Brad Pitt and Glenn Beck. No matter how good Brad rubs my back that douchebag Beck is still there waiting to have his way with me. Even though Brad Pitt is, you know, BRAD PITT, there Glenn is leering at me while greasing his hands with baby oil.

So yeah. There's that.

Plus diarrhea gut is in full percolation because tomorrow I'm going to be on local radio station, KCPW to talk about the Mormon church and objectivity in journalism, specifically the way local media covered Elder Dallin Oaks' controversial comments. Radio is ideal as I tend to become a bit twitchy on camera. There's a reason I work behind the scenes, people. Hopefully The Twitchy isn't audibly discernible. Locals, you can listen on 88.3 FM or 105.3 FM. I think it'll be live at 11am. They also stream it online here. I may just turn into Rainman and tell everyone, that, of course, I'm an excellent driver or I could be fine. Who the hell knows, I've never been on the radio before.

Wow. Naked Glenn Beck and diarrhea. In hindsight I should've warned you not to read while eating. Sorry about that.