Follow on Bloglovin

Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
Search The Girl Who
« Homesick For My Old Hood | Main | I Hope "God" Is A Fat, Black Woman »
Thursday
Oct232008

Financial Orgasm

Even though the puking has begun again, firehose puking as my husband would call it, I am happy. Without depression meds... go figure. As my due date dances ever closer all the bullshit of my past life seems to fall away. Just doesn't feel as important. These past few months it feels like Serge, Max, Milo and I live in a bubble together. Nothing else matters but my little family.

I'm closing in on my third trimester. The other day I googled what a baby looks like at 28 weeks. Most newborns survive if born at this time. That blows me away... to see what this little thing inside of me really looks like. Not some babycenter.com cartoon rendering. Awful tiny, but a full blown baby nonetheless! Eyelids, eyelashes, fingernails, hair. Unbelievable. Serge didn't like it. The old softie doesn't like to look at pictures of babies in NICU at all. "But they survived, honey!" I tell him. "They're okay! Look, here's a photo of this one and she's two years old now!" Didn't matter. It upset him. Had to quickly find some fly fishing websites and pretend to be interested to erase the preemie baby images. Damn, but this little girl is going to have him wrapped around her little finger from day one.

Not that anyone but us cares about our finances, but WOOHOOO! After nearly ten years of paying off a second mortgage from the first condo I owned (and haven't owned for years), I am done. To pay off the loan faster I paid $400 dollars a month for the past year. $400! Do you know how many cases of 7/11 nachos I could buy with that? Like, a whole lot! But it's over. And, after years of NOT paying on his student loan Serge is now up to date, paying off that bad boy every month. Look at us! All responsible and shit.

Paying off a debt or zeroing a credit card balance is my equivalent of an orgasm. My balance is what? Yes, yes, say that again! Yes! YES! YES! OOOOOOOOOOOH YES! DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP! AAAAAAHHHHH... Wouldn't trade it for the real thing, at this point. Maybe later in life - but right now I'm so pleased to be on the cusp of completely and totally debtless that if you told me to stop now I'd suffer a serious case of blue balls. Or, you know, the financial-ish equivalent of blue balls.