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Monica Bielanko
That's What She Said
Just A Junk Drawer Dream
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Tuesday
Jun192007

Baby Steps

Worrying about what your therapist thinks about you is like cleaning your house before the maid comes so she doesn't see how you really live.

***



The couple went to marriage counseling for the first time. For the first several minutes of their session they courteously let each other speak, finish sentences without interruption and generally explain their respective perceptions of their tangled relationship. Best behavior. He generously let her talk about how She needs stability and She managed not to roll her eyes when He spoke about how He thinks She would have been better off with a stockbroker.

Sentence by uncomfortable sentence, for nearly an hour they slowly revealed themselves to The Woman who alternately nodded and scratched notes onto writing paper with a chewed pencil.

The female half of the couple spent more time wondering what The Woman thought about them than how She felt about her own relationship. Am I more concerned about what people think than getting to the bottom of what's really going on? She wondered. Or am I afraid to get to the bottom? Then her husband said something to The Woman She disagreed with.
"No, that's not what I said!" She interrupted his words and her own thought process, depositing herself back into her comfort zone of good ol' marital discord. "I said..."
And He responded.
And She responded.
And the woman listened.
And because someone else was observing their argument and She was worried about what that person thought, She was able to float above herself and see herself for how She really is, not how She thinks She is.

From her elevated vantagepoint She watched and marveled at what an outrageously intense asshole She is when it comes to important discussions with her husband.