Latest Podcast

Follow on Bloglovin

Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
Search The Girl Who
« Things That Bother Me About The Internet | Main | A Good Day »
Sunday
Mar182007

Drunk.  Again.

Man. I'm all hopped up on red wine and curry. Serge is at some benefit gig in Philadelphia. So it's me and Max and red wine, as usual.

Hi!

In all honesty, I feel a bit retarded writing here. Like a big ol' loser. Blogs have taken on a very negative connotation in my world. Blogger = Loser. Yup. Big ol' nerdy nerd tap-tap-tappin' away on the keyboard in desperate search of kudos from my peers. Which, truth be told, I don't know why in fuck I have a blog anymore anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to write... - said in same silver-spoon-up-my-ass tones as Gwyneth Paltrow talking about how acting is her craft.

Fuck.

Blog. What a dumb word. I can't even bring myself to write an entry in which I take myself seriously. I'll feel like an asshole. Like one of these Brooklyn "artistes" that shits onto a canvas and declares it "art". Groan. Just shut the fuck up, already.

Ahem. So there's that. And then the whole, my-husband's-ex-girlfriend-wrote-a-blog-about-me-and-really-fucked-with-my-head thing. Thanks be to Jesus that's over.. but still. After this whole she said/she said, over-dramatized bitch bloggery, I feel like a big ol' fool. Hey everybody! Come read my blog! I've got lots to say about... nothing!

I'm hangin' by a thread in this here blogging world. For no other reason than it feels so
f-u-c-k-i-n-g juvenile. How tasteful can it be to continue blogging? Blogging. I have a blog. Have you read my blog? How embarrassing. Everything splayed, like a naked prostitute, before the greedy eyes of some John who will talk smack about me to his buddies after he finishes using me for entertainment. Look at me! Here is my crotch life! It's just as boring as yours! Aren't I unique. And brilliantly witty? Hold on! Lemme bust out my thesaurus so you think I'm smart and well-read. There! Read all about it!

Blogging sucks. It feels perverted and like a weapon is someone's artillery. Someone who has an axe to grind. But, hah! This is a blog in which I'm using to relay to you that I think blogging is a self-gratifying snoozer.. I can't get over how much that word irritates me... blog. Just say it. B-L-O-G. It sounds like retching...
"I don't feel so good. I think I'm gonna - BLAAAWWWG!"
And here I am typing in it to tell you how much blogging sucks!

I don't know how I feel about that. Hypocritical, perhaps?