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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
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The Complexities Of Towel Diversification

"I think we're going about it all wrong."
"Why? How? Huh?"
"Well.. we need to put all the towels in one dryer. FULL dryer power on the towels."
"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?"
"The towels are still damp."
"So, I think we're going at this all wrong. We need to put all the towels in one dryer so they get FULL---"
"Yeah, I heard you. But towels take the longest to dry. You've got to diversify so that not too many are in one dryer vying for the heat."
"Did you just say vying?
"Yes, vying.. like fighting?"
"I know what it means, I've can't believe you'd toss out vying, all willy-nilly."
"Believe it. You married an intelligent woman."
"Uh-huh... About the towels. If you give them their own dryer instead of mixing them in with the shirts and pants they'd all dry quicker because--"
"Full dryer power?"
"This is what I'm saying!"
"You're wrong. You're fucking with your timing. Drying is like cooking.. You've gotta time it so everything is finished at the same time.. You go and do something crazy like throw a buncha towels in one dryer and you'll be spending the night in the laundromat watching your towels dry. Diversify the towels and the loads are dry at the same time. Can you dig it? And yes, I said diversify. That word to big for you?
"You're wrong. See, it's like two rivers..."
"Two what?"
"Rivers! I'm working out an analogy to explain--"
"I think you're swimming against the current with this river analogy."
"Ha ha. Intelligent AND clever."
"Seriously, at the laundromat, it's all about Towel Diversification."

Reader Comments (26)

I like the Surge's thinking.....I'm going with him on this!!!
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBrian
He's right. I used to diversify. It never worked. But when the towels all go together. Viola! And the best invention at any laundromat ever is the super duper extra spin cycle machine that wrings out every last drop of water with its centrifugal force. It leaves your clothes (and towels) so near dry that it takes only about 15 minutes for them to dry. Amazing!
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLucia Dreamer
I'm sorry Monica. It's a commonly accepted fact that all towels go together. Not only for dryness but also for the lint and ick factor.

Although, it is perfectly reasonable to throw your undergarments in with towels cause they both touch your naked body.

June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSicksadworld
It takes just a towel to raise the ante...and totally undo all your best-laid drying intentions. All manner of black hipster garb turns to fuzz when you throw in the towel.
Towels together, lips apart and and none of that annoying marital static cling!
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterOne Who Never Posts
I'm with Serge (and apparently a few other posters) on this one. I always dry my towels together, separate from other items. Not only do they dry quicker, but I agree with Sicksadworld about the lint and ick factor. Also, if you put the wet towels in with other stuff, it makes the other stuff more wet and thus everything takes longer to dry, not just the towels.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLaura
Except for white towels, they're more like regular stuff and it's a well known fact that they dry faster. So you can mix white towels.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterVan Ally
Huh. Diversification has always worked best for me, but I'm also the one who puts the dryer on for 45 minutes. That's sure to get them nice and dry.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia
My vote's for segregating the towels. They just don't play well with others.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered Commentertallangie
I have a dream that one day towels will hold hands with t-shirts and delicates and sing in the words of the old detergent spiritual: "A-L-L: the stain-lifter, that's All."
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterereiberg
I'm a towel diversifier -- totally with you on this one, Monica.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersandra
I will always remember my momma telling me to dry the towels together. You wash them together, you dry them together. Woe is the day I forgot that rule. My ears are still ringing from my mom's yelling.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWanda
Doing laundry can lick all of my balls.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCL
I"m going with Monica. Who wants to be at the laundromat all day waiting for towels to dry? Diversify baby!
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAimee
eh.. the lint on the black items when they tumbled with the towels. Thats ass.
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermama
i have to agree with you on the towel diversity thing. it IS like cooking, diversify the towels and they will all be dry at the same time. why are so many people confused about this?! ;)
June 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte
i'm w/ surge. wash & dry all the towels together. doesn't make the towels take longer, in my experience...
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterd
Yikes! You don't wash the towels with other stuff! Doesn't anyone use the different settings on the dryer? All the towels together means you can use the heavy duty, hotter than the sun setting, which you would never use on, say, your panties. Towels are sturdy and can stand the heat. Do 'em together and crank it up!

*Whew, I just channelled my mother... that was exhausting.*
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteramanda b
crazy -- never comingle towels; just don't overload.
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commentercrazynj
I think we're all coming at it from different angles. If you have a washer/dryer in your home, of course you wash the towels together. If you're paying bucket loads of money at a laundromat, I never pay extra just to put my three measly towels in one load. I diversify. Same with drying.
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGemma
Am beginning to fear that I'm a laundry idiot...even in my own place (and I have a washer & dryer), I diversify -- who wants to wait for laundry anyway!
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersandra
I hate how long towels and pants, and towel-pants take. I usually just give up on them and take them home damp, hang em up on the balcony or something.
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAlex
What the hell are towel-pants Alex? They sound seriously scary.
I don't know what kind of nasty towels you people have but I have always washed everything all together and dried all together and never had a lint problem.
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterNiedlchen
Man, towel-pants would save me oodles of time in the morning! Hop outta the shower, throw on some towel-boxers and a pair of towel-khakis, proceed to shave and brush, and top off with a golf shirt. Done!

June 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdu_dragons
"Yikes! You don't wash the towels with other stuff! Doesn't anyone use the different settings on the dryer? All the towels together means you can use the heavy duty, hotter than the sun setting, which you would never use on, say, your panties. Towels are sturdy and can stand the heat. Do 'em together and crank it up!

*Whew, I just channelled my mother... that was exhausting.*"


Do them (the towels) first with 3-4 quarters.

All other "see-able" clothes go into the finesse drying cycles.

My priorities are always the bedding: for me and for the dogs. Fuck towels! Get'em done! I don't care if they are in flames when they come out of the dryer.

One thing to consider: drink a 40oz malt liquor when the first load goes in the dryer. By the time the headache sets in, you've already folded everything immaculately.

Then go home and pass out on a sheetless bed with the full folded basket on the floor.

Attend to it the next day.

That gives you an extra day of completely clean stuff.
June 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjoe
joe - you just described my Friday nights.

and i'm sorry, but towel-pants was the funniest thing I've read all week!
June 29, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteramanda b
"Fuck towels! Get'em done! I don't care if they are in flames when they come out of the dryer."

Word, brother.
June 29, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMonicaBielanko

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