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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Monday
Feb272006

You Say You Want A Revelation... Well, You Know...

I'm in the midst of a revelation.. No, I haven't invented a new form of fuel for automobiles or cold fusion or anything that might actually be useful for humanity... Good lord - if I can't stop myself from shoveling nachos into my gaping mouth despite squinching cellulite covered thighs and sobbing in the shower in my version of The Crying Game, how in god's name do you expect me to worry about starving children or the environment? Seriously. I'll leave that to Angelina. Or Sally Struthers, she's still in the life saving game ain't she?

This here revelation is just a minor eye-opener involving a particularly detrimental way I've been viewing a circumstance in my life. Could I BE more abstract? S'just that I don't want to incriminate myself too much. Despite what one may think after reading the atrocities contained within this blog (i.e. hairy nipples, roast beef labia, mormon muff) I'd like to maintain some semblance of dignity. No, really. Stop laughing.

What I'm laboring to impart is THAT moment in your life that happens every now and again.. You know - you're toiling about, slopping around in the every day minutiae.. half heartedly trying to dig out from under the feces those fickle bitches Fate and Destiny excrete on an hourly basis.. when the light bulb snaps on.. Y'know - Oprah would call it an "Aha Moment".. And then you get it! BY GOD, YOU GET IT! You have ascended the plateau and are now sunning yourself on a luxurious new level of understanding.

Was it really that easy all along? Just cranking the ol' switcharoo lever on your perspective machine? A new way of looking at something? That's it? That's all you got for us, Monica?

But it's sooo huge. Simply switching that perspective changes your life. Although it's a cliche, changing your way of thinking can move mountains. Really you're just a prisoner of your own thoughts... and once you smash through the glass ceiling trapping you in a transparent prison of your own creation, the sky is the limit.

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Reader Comments (14)

We can comment! Yay! It is strange when that special moment occurs. Like getting over a boyfriend. For months he was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. Then one day it occurred to me I hadn't thought about him all day. Finally you get to that day when you look back and wonder what you were so upset about.
February 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSunny
True for many situations, indeed. Especially if you are comfortably middle class and generally happy with your lot.
February 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Armstrong
Still looking for that moment unfortunately...

I found your blog yesterday and am loving it!! Your first post on The Girl Who got me all giddy remembering the first few months I dated my boyfriend; that text message beep is wonderful music in those early days!!

You are a beautiful writer, I'm looking forward to stopping by here again :)
February 27, 2006 | Unregistered Commentergingerlemon
"sunning yourself on a luxurious new level of understanding"

Oh, that is so RIGHT, Mon.

It DOES happen, and it doesn't have to be "meaning of life" caliber stuff, either. In fact, the small revelations are the ones that sometimes bring the most delight.

Long live the Aha! moment. Often brought about by a song, the weather, or the right tie. And it's funny.
February 27, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWry Bri
That's true thought, but if it were easy, psychologist's would be out of work.

Allow me some third-rate, psycho-babble

Take me as an example. I went to post-marital counseling, which then became depression counseling, which, in turn, has morphed into what I'll call, self-esteem/thought pattern maintenance. That would be that the whole shooting match, in my case, comes down to my inherent thought pattern's (the easy yet sometimes destructive, instinctive stuff) vs the hard-to-change one's (the feeling that I can overcome all fears and insecurities and thrive in the modern world.)

People lapse into the former behavioral patterns because it all they really know. It's easy to sit at home and munch on unhealthy snacks and ruminate on the horrible state of one's life if that is how you have always thought about stuff. It's much more difficult to exercise (and that's what it is!) a new mind-state that may include, optimism, self-esteem, and a new kind of forcefulness and purpose to your life.

Sometimes the bulb goes on and it sticks; sometimes it takes good external motivation; sometimes nothing changes no matter how hard you try to change it. In those instances, you need the wisdom and patience to gradually work through those particular situations, rather than make a drastic, dramatic change.

The point is, you can flip the switch, you can change your own existing perceptions if you allow them to change.

Sometimes that's the hardest thing.

Sorry for the babble. This is pretty near-and-dear to my heart.

j
February 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjoe
This is going to sound corny but I just started reading "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" last night and so far it is all about everything you stated on a change in perspective. It's so true.
February 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMerteuil
So true...our own worst enemies and all that shite.
February 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterSerena
Monica... brilliant!

I love this: "half heartedly trying to dig out from under the feces those fickle bitches Fate and Destiny excrete on an hourly basis" You have a way with words that sends shivers up my spine.
February 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterStFarmer
I really liked your comment Joe.. Writing about the lightbulb moment is easy enough.. It's the implementing that's the bastard.. I think this post was more a commentary on that beautiful moment.. when you come to a realization.. can look at a situation that was previously nearly choking you to death with a new level of understanding.. You walk around on cloud nine for days afterward.. feeling wise.. as if you can conquer the world..
February 28, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMonica
we are on the same wavelength. i was just working on a post last night where i described my oprah aha! moment. love your writing.
February 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjoey kim
But Monica has that moment of clarity sustained itself today, and if so, have you found yourself fighting the urge to slink back into thought patterns' past? Back to the huge Zit's and corn-product compulsion's?

I realize that I take these journal's of yours and work my way 'round the fringes of your perceptions: the power of good writing, methinks, but 8 times out of 10, you nail my ass with something that requires immediate response.

Fuck if I know why? I'm just glad to have a friendly place to lay my thought's out when effectively prodded.

February 28, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterjoe
Fightin' the urge my friend, fightin' the urge... With the help of my new friend clarity, that is...
March 1, 2006 | Registered CommenterMonicaBielanko
What you write is so true Monica. Once you realize it, the world opens up. It's a lovely thing.
March 2, 2006 | Unregistered Commentercitygirl
Hey again...I've been out of the blog loop for a week or two, so I'm playing catch up, but I love coming back to this! Revelations are funny things. Sometimes you fight and you fight and you fight, for hours, days, weeks, even years, go through hell and back fighting and trying to resolve something...and then BAM. It's like fighting and fighting to get something to work, and then all of a sudden something falls into place, and suddenly it's smooth as can be. And the best part about revelations is that usually once that falls into place, regardless of how long it took to get there, it's usually never the same. But that's usually a good thing. I'm happy for you!
March 5, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

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