A vast conspiracy is brewing. It's being carried out right beneath our noses and it smells like Columbian Roasted Mocha.
Starbucks is sponsoring celebrities.. I'm sure of it! I'm guessing each photo in Us Weekly nets a celeb a good year or so of free bean. A photo in People earns celebrity caffeine seekers a year of free java PLUS a free biscotti per visit, unless said celeb happens to be Nicole Ritchie and then Starbucks just agrees to keep quiet when they hear her retching in their restroom facilities.
I saw Tony Danza again at Starbucks today. Last week it was Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Before that it was Liam Neeson. God in heaven, they're all in on it!
At the time of my Danza sighting, the line was backed up out the door and the mom & pop joint selling java for a dollar next door was emptier than Paris Hilton's head. Dozens of jittery folks fidgeted and fretted in the endless Starbucks line, most likely from withdrawal.
Can Starbucks brew really be THAT much better? Perhaps they're slipping powder in their "Special Blend"? Like GHB except it makes you want coffee in place of sex? Instead of the date rape drug it's the dollar rape drink?
I tell you, I'm onto something here... They don't call it Star Bucks for nothing.