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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Sunday
Dec042005

Baptism By Immersion

The fact of our marriage no longer knocks me from behind like a hurried New Yorker trying to catch the subway. Nor does it sneak up on me and slyly tap me on the shoulder like the underground dwellers begging for change. I'm slowly sinking in, easing my aching body into the warm bath of our life together.

At first I dipped a tentative toe in the baptismal water of matrimony and jerked back, horrified. It was too hot, too much and I retreated. Needed to allow myself time to adjust to your fiery temperature. Or I needed to wait for your heat to lessen in the cool-headed presence of my unconditional love.

Eventually I eased my feet in, valiantly attempting to acclimate myself to your feverish affection. After a few false starts, when the sweltering conditions overwhelmed my tender hull and sent me scurrying for safer climates, I am now easing into our alliance, slowly but surely.

I'll admit, I feared drowning in the murky marital waters. I'll even concede that those fears aren't entirely banished from thought. Do those apprehensions ever really disappear entirely? Do wizened couples, whose expansive history affords them a seemingly innnate grace with which to glide through the ocean of togetherness, secretly fret over the high tide of lost lovers, the stillwaters of boredom or the hurricane of betrayal?

I know this. When the grit and grime of life in the big city pollutes me, infiltrates my soul leaving me defiled and shivering, all I want to do is come home to our little apartment and let your warm love wash over me, purify me, absolve me...

Reader Comments (4)

I just wanted to say a) I enjoyed the imagery of this post. and b) I just received my first Marah CD and I love it! so kudos to The Surge.
December 5, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B.

A lurker reveals herself. This post really spoke to me. I know it's 5 years old but I decided to give your blog a read from beginning to end. I found you on Babble, which I'm thankful for, as I am a non blog person typically. I've never really read a blog regularly before but yours just hits it where it hurts. In a good way. The Babble has some good posts, the large majority appear to be yours... Perhaps they can rename it the drivel (some of them, anyway.) A couple of the posters seem to have less than *ahem* stellar writing abilities. Not you, but you know that. I also like your followers, they make me laugh also, which is refreshing.

It's funny because I have more than a few things in common with you, except that Mormon thing. I guess I have my own rejected Catholic/Lutheran child of divorce thing going but, hey, you say stuff I relate to and it makes me laugh out loud and sometimes snort like a pig. That's a good belly laugh and I need em being 6 months pregnant with my first child. Oh and the part about me and watching, conflicted, as my career in film goes down the toilet, potentially. Possibly. Maybe? Or at least a life without a evil breast pump and lack of all my sleep being imminent, makes me totally relate to your posts about work and how you never see your family.

Thanks for putting it out there and just saying it like it is. I'll keep clicking on Babble to get you paid, you deserve it.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFunkyAmazon

Well damn, but that's a nice comment. Really. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

December 8, 2010 | Registered CommenterMonicaBielanko

Dear Baptist Christian brothers and sisters, the "ritual" or mode of baptism is not what is important! If we must do everything EXACTLY as Christ did it, why do Baptists use "shooter glasses" in their Lord's Supper instead of passing around ONE "cup" as Christ did? The Baptist insistence on strict adherence to the ritual of Baptism is a violation of the New Covenant. We are no longer bound by ritual, but by the work of the Holy Spirit in the hearts and souls of men.

The mode of Baptism is not what matters. What matters is the convert's submission to God's command to be baptized, and God's response in and to this act.

http://www.lutherwasnotbornagain.com/2013/09/baptism-are-baptists-more-ritualistic.html

September 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergary

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