Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
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Friday
Dec232005

Christmas Criminals

They're watching me. I can feel their beady little eyes roving all over my body, taking in my curves, my lines, imagining themselves inside me. I sit here in News Station X trying to act busy, struggling to ignore their obvious stares, but I can't.

I scuttle to the copy machine, careful to take the long way around so I don't have to pass them, but it doesn't matter. I know they're there. Waiting for me.

I concede, I think about them nearly 55 minutes out of every hour. I know they want me. If I'm honest with myself, I admit I want them too. I daydream about them. Their smell, the way they feel. I fantasize that my tongue is licking them, tasting them. I imagine them inside my mouth and shiver with the sheer thrill of my hedonistic inclinations. What a naughty girl I am.

Sometimes I can hear them chattering with each other, strategizing their next move. Other times it's all I can do to block out their tiny shrieks for attention. My husband would shake his head if he knew I was cheating, but sometimes I succumb to their seductive advances. They are smart, make all the right moves, say all the right things.
"C'mon, it's the holidays, let loose a little"
"Just don't think about it now. Worry about it in the New Year."

They want me so bad, will make any excuse to gain access to my body. And it's inevitible. We both know it is. Eventually I saunter over to them in defeat, tacit acknowledgement of what we both know we want.

I linger lovingly near the soft gingerbread cookies, eye the perfect fudge squares, smell the fresh fruit exquisiteness of the strawberry tarts and finally select a beautiful brownie packed with walnuts, oozing thick fudge from it's cakey form.

I luxuriosly lick the luscious chocolate from the brownie's scrumptious edge, savoring every second. When I can take it no longer, can hold back no more, I delicately bite into a little piece of heaven.
"You complete me." I whisper lovingly. And we are both satiated. For this hour at least.

Reader Comments (4)

I share the same temptations. My boss won't stop handing out chocolate like it's gonna go bad if we don't consume it instantly. Truffles, caramel filled, dark, white.....sigh.
December 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterLolaWants
Hi.

Speaking of being inside me. I just ate a dried piece of chilli peeper off the kitchen floor. And a piece of tinsel.

Ugh.

Come home for the holidays, Ma.

m
December 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMax
Thanks so much for the laugh. I truly understand this. It's okay to let loose at Christmas time.
December 23, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterMartha
Haha. The temptations of life. Merry Christmas!
December 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

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