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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
You can also find Monica's writing here:
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Saturday
Nov262005

Puzzle Pieces

You wear passion on your sleeve
I bury it in the deepest recesses of my heart

You continually reach out for love and companionship
I consistenly turn away and into myself

You are insecure about my love for you
I am secure in your love for me

You live in the moment, enjoying life as it happens
I live for the future, waiting to enjoy life

You have great expectations of holidays and gatherings
I dread forced conviviality

You are dramatic to force a reaction
I react to force your dramatics

You call me to feel connected
I feel connected so I call

You like being in front of the camera and standing on stage
I prefer to watch those on stage and work behind the camera

You express love
I repress love

You use sex to feel closer to me
I use sex as an escape from myself

You are in love with me
I am in live with you

Reader Comments (4)

Wow, Monica what are you doing? What are you looking for? My wife told me She was unhappy a month ago because I didn't have the "priesthood" and she could feel we were missing out on "blessings". I told her She needed to get her priorities straight. I told her to enjoy the meals I prepare for her with love. I told her to enjoy the sunset without thinking "if only Casey believed the church, then I could enjoy it". I told her to live today for today and not worry about dying to get to the "celestial kingdom". I told her to enjoy the milkshake that I take time to prepare then I add little "hershey shavings" on top to make it special.

The point is, Monica what is your "if only" scenario?

"If only the Serge and I lived in Provo and we had to sneak down to the new Starbucks by the mall and indulge our guilty caffeine passions".

"If only, if only, if only..........."

I am sure I could go on but only one thing needs be said to you and my wife.

Start enjoyin' the livin'

CChild
November 28, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterCChild
it is 3am in Stockholm. I just read this. i am coming home tomorrow after 6 weeks away.

Uh oh.

s
November 29, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersurge
I like this Casey fella. Nice one, man.

s
November 29, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersurge
This wasn't me searching for something that's missing from my life. Was a presentation of facts I find interesting.
November 29, 2005 | Registered CommenterMonicaBielanko

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