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Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Monday
Nov142005

Back When I Was Hot

"Why are you so angry all the time?"

"It's the overnight shift Henry, the fucking overnights."

"It's not so bad here. Listen, it's quiet. Look, no news managers. We have the candy drawer all to ourselves." He waits for me to crack a smile. "You're no fun anymore."

"I used to be though, right?"

"Yeah, back when you were hot."

"Back when I was hot? I've only been here six months. How bad could it be?"

He looks at me pointedly. "Girlfriend, have you even shaved your legs since you started the graveyard shift? You're broke. Look at you.." He trails off.

"So you aren't attracted to me?"

"I'm gay."

"I know. I'm just saying."

No response

"Don't gay guys find women attractive?"

"Some do, some don't."

"Would you say a majority of gay guys have slept with a woman? You know, to decide it isn't their cup of tea, or do they automatically just know?"

"What, am I the gay ambassador to Monica CUNTry?"

"Very clever. Yes."

"Well, some have, some haven't."

"Would you sleep with me?"

"Not in your state girlfriend. Ever hear of makeup, it's magical! A brush? Does wonders. I might have considered it, back when you were hot, maybe."

Back when I was hot.

Reader Comments (3)

dude you're totally hot! so no worries.
November 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B.
i'm right there with you...i manage to get makeup on but it is only because i'm hoping to draw attention away from the 10 new lbs around my belly. at least you haven added fat to your list of un-hot-ness. ;)
November 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersusan
Makeup really isn't all that hot unless you're looking on and gay. And the gayboyz also like the skeleton thin bodies and the boyish hair.
November 15, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

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