Monica Bielanko
A chronicle since 2005 of my marriage & move to Brooklyn in my twenties; becoming a mother in my thirties; moving to Pennsylvania and learning to amicably coparent after divorce in my forties while living 3 doors down from my ex-husband in a small country town.
That's What She Said
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Friday
Oct142005

Rain, Rain, Go Away

I trudge through torrential rain from the News Station Where I Work to the Lincoln Center subway stop this morning after yet another writing all nighter. It's a good thing I showed up at work today. Who else could have written the story about King Midas the sea turtle, finally returning to his New Orleans home post Katrina, with the same panache? Or the New Jersey millionaire who just splashed 20 million for a trip to space?

These are important stories that someone must tell! New Yorkers need to know that a buzzard was on the loose in a Miami news studio, so it's lucky for X NEWS that I'm on the job. No one writes that oh-so-clever anchor banter with more flair than I. Or the teases.. "If you can't take the heat, get outta the kitchen.. Coming up on X NEWS, the domestic diva tosses in the towel.. find out what's cookin with Martha Stewart when we come back!". Isn't that clever? Toss in a few gang bangs, hit & runs, and the usual 'body found' and that's my night kids!

After this futile exercise of my brain... no I meant fruitful exercise! I swear! Just got the letters mixed up. Really. Not really. I'm tired of the news. Most folks in the news business are over-achieving braggadocios who love to tell you what they do for a living.

I wish the fucking Food Network would answer my calls. Isn't that sooo the place for me? TV and food. Genius! The over-achieving, sharp suited exec who came up with this concept should be publicly lauded. Just kidding, I haven't called the Food Network. But I should, dammit! Unless they stick me with Rachael Ray and then I'd have to resign on general principle. No one is that chirpy all the time. Give me that silver-haired vixen Paula Dean and her high fat, home made stews, casseroles, pies and all manner of ooey gooey goodness any day. Paula's peppy, but in the right way. I'm certain she curses like a sailor the minute the cameras are off.

As I was saying, trudging to the subway... Rain pelts me from all angles. Waterworld. Wet hair, soggy shoes, sponges for socks. Umbrellas charge me. Owners unaware they are coming this close to impaling an eyeball, scraping a cheek. Herding onto the subway. Cattle call. The rustle of newspapers, squelch of wet shoes on tiled floor, winter coats awakened from hibernation, sniffling and coughing onto hands that grab for the nearest pole at the slightest bump.

I rest the back of my head against the wall of the wet train and scrutinize the early risers, packed sardine like around me.
"Next stop, 42nd street Times Square. Stand clear of the closing doors please."
I see The Sleepers. The Groggies. The Readers. The Stare into Spacers. The Homeless. The ipodders. I am a charter member of The Groggies. Eyelids drooping, snapping open each time the train screeches to a clamorous stop.

Is it worth it? We're all zombies. Staggering to and from work. Tired, circles under our eyes, smiles scarce. What is my point? I work, to pay the bills. Something needs to happen. I want something to happen. I will make something happen.

Reader Comments (5)

Keep on truckin'! The trick is to keep building your skills but keep an eye on the prize (e.g. Food Network) and when the moment's right - make your move.

Btw - love your pics. Esp. the London photos!
October 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commenterla.dauphine
I've come to the sad realization, that right now I'm definately working to pay the bills and that since I am just starting out (blah) it sucks even more, but seriously something needs to happen.
October 14, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterHeather B.
Do it, do it! You can help me stay inspired...I do know what you mean - there are days (weeks...) where I start to think, "I'm going to bed just so I can get up and work again tomorrow". Not so fun...
October 14, 2005 | Unregistered Commentersandra
It will all work out. I promise. It's taken me a long time to get where I wanted to be career-wise, and I don't really know if its something that I would want to do forever. Just have faith and keep your chin up!
October 16, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterKatie
hey there Monica - Im on a weekly listserv w/ jobs in the media industry and saw one that might interest you. Will you send me an email so I can respond? I don't see yours posted anywhere...
October 18, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterPLD

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